IMO there aren't enough fics where Kim is suffering emotionally/mentally
(Under the cut is a long ramble of various things I think Kim does/feels that are related to being mentally unwell or struggling)
love thinking about Kim barely treating his trauma and stressor disorder, thinking if he represses it (like everything else) it'll just go away (this has never worked for anything but he will continue to do this until he breaks). Love giving him really bad OCD and he's constantly checking things, has to make sure the motor carriage is locked at least three times, has to go down the same checklist every single morning and night or else he feels like he's not protected enough
love imagining his relationship with restraint reaching the precipice and he suffers cause he has to deny himself Everything. Control! Restraint! If he doesn't take too much then it can't be taken away from him later! He denies himself everything until he's desperate for anything to look forward to and it bleeds out (his pilot's uniform, the way that he doesn't eat at all during the day unless Harry pesters him enough, the way he can't let anyone know what music he actually likes)
In my mind he has chronic nightmares. He can't sleep with the window open. He hasn't cried in front of a person since he was twelve and the idea of eventually doing so in front of Harry is scarier than having a gun pointed at him. He tortures himself with repeating scenarios where he and Harry are in danger so he can think of a plan for how he will save Harry, but rarely/never himself.
Kim can't feel at home if he doesn't have food in the kitchen, even if it's a sleeve of crackers. He eats everything very very quickly - people have tried to jokingly ask if he even tasted it but he hates those jokes - and he almost always clears his plate completely. Sometimes he says that he feels like he concentrates better if he's starving.
He latches onto Harry very quickly for a sense of personal comfort and barely even notices. He tries not to think about how quickly and easily he folded Harry into his daily routine and every single thought, and especially never thinking about how if Harry were to ever leave him (by any means) he will absolutely break into a million pieces. His mind is a series of walls that protect him but also block off so many things that even he struggles with pushing through them.
