The Circadian

Dahil hindi na daw matutuloy ang pagganap ni Angel Locsin bilang Darna dahil sa di umano’y health reasons, napabalitang marami daw artista ang gustong mag-audition para sa nasabing role.

What if si Kris Aquino,

 “OMGG!! Nakakaloka! Make abot the bato!! DARNA!!!!” 

 What if si Darla, 

“Ding! Ang bato! DAR… DARLAAA!!! 

 What if si Angelica Panganiban,

“Tangina Ding! Ang bato! DARNA!!!” 

 What if si Kim Chiu, 

“Ding! Ang bato!”

 “Wait.” 

“Parang ito na ata ang icing sa ibabaw ng cupcake ko.” 

What if si Vice Ganda, 

“Ding! Salamat sa Real and Organic na Bato. DARNA!” 

What if si Gretchen Barreto, 

“Ding. Where’s the swarovski?!?

What if si Jolina Magdangal,

Chuva Chuchu chuva chuchu. DARNA!!!

What if si Ryan Rems, 

 Ryan: “Ding! Ang bato.” 

 Ding: < gives shabu >

What if si Anne Curtis, 

 Anne: “Ding! Ang bato!” 

 Ding: “Ayaw.” 

 Anne: “I can buy you. Your friends and that bato!” 

What if si Tito Boy, 

 "Kaibigang Ding, ang bato. Now naaaaaaaaa" 

What if si Ate Charo, 

"Dear Ding,

Ang bato. 

Nagmamahal… 

….Darna." 

What if si Donnalyn Bartolome, 

Donna: “Ding! Ang bato!” 

Ding: ( throws the bato ) 

Donna: “HA-HA-HAPPY BREAK-UP SURPRISE!” 

What if si Ella Cruz, 

 Ella: “Ding! Ang bato!” 

 Ding: “Twerk muna!! Twerk muna!” 

 What if si Korina Sanchez, 

 Korina: “Ding! Ang tsinelas!” 

 Ding: “?!?” 

What if si Pastillas Girl,

Pastillas: “Ding. Ang bato!”

Ding: “Tangina mo. Mabulunan ka sana.” 

What if si Yaya Dub,

Yaya: …

What if si Lola Nidora, 

 Lola: “Ding! Ang bato! 

 Ding: < throws the bato >

BALUT. Scientific Name: Fertilized Duck Egg with Appetizer Soup. It is also called “not a duck, not an egg, but in between.” But in our sosyal neighborhood, we call it “The Egg of Darkness.” We, Pinoys, love it because it is pampalibog.

For all the social climbers out there, i’m gonna teach you how to eat “The 15 pesos Shades of Gray" the sosyal way.

Make basag the top of the egg with a spoon. Make sure the spoon is sterilized.

Don’t eat the pearly shell. It’s from the ocean. Shining from the sand. 

Ask the magbabalot if they have balsamic vinegar. Then, you jakol the vinegar on the butas.

Make higop the amniotic fluid liquid and the laman from the hole. Don’t higop with sound. It is so unethical and no breeding at all.

Make laway the dulo of your daliri then make it dawdaw on the asin so you can make it supsop to add a salty taste when making laklak the remaing sabaw.

De-virginize the egg by making it butas pa a little more so that you can kagat the laman.

Don’t look at the eyes of the sisiw. You’ll be takot and maaawa at the same time. Like nakakaloka.

Pull the kawawang partially-formed sisiw on the shell and eat it like a predator. Say, “rawr!”

You punas your bunganga with your hanky to remove the bulbol of the sisiw.

I’ve gained more than I’ve lost, But I haven’t gained more than I’ve forgotten.

Wish I could say “I’ll make time for it” and actually create a couple of hours that exceed 24 hours.

Why does it hurt so much not to hurt