Sometimes violence is the answer. And some moms deserve to get kicked. 🎀
Not today Justin
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@archizzitz
Sometimes violence is the answer. And some moms deserve to get kicked. 🎀

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Shut Up, I Don’t Care
choose your fav puppy
hyperfixation please stay with me long enough to complete the project. hyperfixation do not fade. hyperfixation finish what you started for the love of god
bringing it up again for the millionth time but I'm still obsessed with the way that hannibal lecter is canonically aware of the narrative not because its ever explicitly stated but because the author who created him genuinely believes this to be true and stopped writing the book series because he's afraid of him
I would never lie to you

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if you're writing and find yourself thinking 'this is too weird/gross/offputting/esoteric/ambitious/catered to my specific interests + sure to push away a broader audience' that is the devil speaking and it is a lie. you are already firmly on the right path and you need to double down
[bolts across your dash full speed while naked and covered in grass stains, smears of wet dirt, and evidently someone else's blood]
“Never let the memories of the way things were, blind you from seeing the reality of the way things are.”
— Unknown
I don't know if this is a toxic trait but I just have no fucking patience for people who play coy about not letting people help them. Like I don't care if you think it's cute and demure and think people should chase you down and make you do the safe and healthy thing, because I sure fucking won't. Like if people are going out of their way to try to make you keep yourself alive and you start going "nooooo I don't wannaaa you don't want to make meeeeeeh uwu" and cutely wiggling away, then frankly I think you should die.
Everyone replying "but what if I'm hyperindependent because of trauma :(" you can stop worrying. Even if you can't, I can tell the difference between someone fighting against being helped as a trauma response, and someone playing cute running away from the help like this:
My job? Piss cop. I make sure that nobody stands next to you at the urinal and tries to make conversation. When I told my dad what I was doing, he was upset. Sixties radical, hated every cop. Didn't trust them. Came to work with me one day to see if I was a fascist. Tears in his eyes the first time I smashed a truncheon filled with lead shot across a Bay Street banker's face for ignoring my third warning. I was wrong, son, he cried. This is so beautiful.
Now, don't get confused about why I'm there. I don't care who uses the urinal, so long as you don't use it right next to someone else. Stalls are a bit of a grey area, admittedly. Most of my beat only has two stalls, and sometimes both of those are just gonna fill up. You better not try to sell someone on a timeshare while you're there, though. Polite requests for additional toilet paper can go through me.
You might also wonder about sinks. The media's been real confused about sink etiquette lately, probably because one of the officers in 7th Precinct – it's always Seventh – beat up a state senator's aide for trying to talk about the weather. He actually got his ass whupped for not washing his hands at all, and trying to leave. You really want some guy with pee hands wandering around out there?
Rest assured, sink rules are very loose indeed, not like in Germany. You can chat about whatever you want at the sink, but you can only make incidental eye contact through the mirror, and the conversation is ten seconds max. Having a whole conversation about modem sales? Save that kind of business talk for the hallway, where way fewer people are trying to pee.
Critics should keep in mind that we're protecting you from the real scum of the earth: insurance salesmen. Once, in a more primitive era, they would lurk inside every bathroom, ready to entrap you during your most vulnerable periods of urination to talk about how cool it would be if your widow got five thousand dollars when you died. That dark time is long past. Sure, the system isn't perfect, but it also lets me pee in comfort. Now wash your hands and get out.

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Micrologus - Austin Osman Spare
BETTER NAMES:
- the ‘WE HAVE A VERY AFFECTIONATE PET MOUNTAIN LION’ bed
- the ‘OUR NINJA BODYGUARD HAS TO SLEEP *SOMEWHERE*’ bed
- the ‘YOU’RE GROUNDED - DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT SNEAKING OUT’ bed
- the ‘WE’RE POLY BUT SOMETIMES ONE OF US NEEDS ELBOW SPACE’ bed
imagine your ot3
the “Not everyone in the triad is into cuddling but doesn’t want to miss out on late-night conversations and morning tea” bed
Team Rocket’s bed
Meowth alone on the bottom with Jessie and James up top

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just found out I’m an American horse pirate
I had to get a couple of ultrasounds last year and I haven’t gotten over how this is indicated in my test results as, among other things, “cervix: unremarkable”
Yes. Unremarkable is an incredibly good thing for a medical examination to be. Nothing out of the ordinary. Everything is fine. This is good news.
But I literally CANNOT STOP laughing at “pussy: basic” being in my medical records.