EXQUISITE CORPSE.

someone stole my beloved block of ice and left behind a slick, cold puddle as a calling card. count your days soggy bandit

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

bro last night was totally redacted! last night was fully expunged from the record. bro, do you... can you remember last night? what did we do...? what did... did we hurt someone? bro? why won't you look at me? what did I do...? whose blood is this...? bro...?

for months ive been thinking to myself "food is highkey yummy", a phrase which not only means nothing but is also stupid as fuck

at the insane stage of character obsession where i start getting the urge to post pngs of them every five seconds like im showing ppl a picture of my stupid ass boyfriend that nobody likes but me

Wii smoking game where you pretend the wii remote is a cigar and move it to your mouth to puff on it and the screen shows your mii smoking. And the game is called Wii be Smoking

i could never be hannibal lecter because i hate lying theyd be like and whats for dinner hannibal and id be like it's beef SORRRYYYYY its actually a guy who i killed and cooked up 😬 are you mad at meee and theyd say no hannibal you told the truth and thats what matters and then we'd all hug

have we tried sitting completely still in a dark room, my liege?

everyone on this website except me needs to shut up

everyone on this website except me and this swag ass lizard needs to shut up

you knock on my door and hear loud barking and scrambling noises and me yelling "no!! down boy!! down!!!" and then when i open the door there is a single crab on the floor

I fucked up so badly on this sudoku page no ones ever gonna wanna have sex with me

is anyone else also doing ultimately fine + dying of stress + it’s not that bad + if i don’t wake up tomorrow hotter and better at every hobby its fucking over for me

people who dont like drinking water confuse me. getting a sip of water is like a drug to me. i love a drink of water

bit mad innit. This whole thing