in case anyone is unclear on what "making people think they are ontologically incapable of violence" means:
if we treat "people who abuse others" as a separate category of people, who are inherently evil and maybe not even real people, it becomes difficult for us to realize when our own behavior is harming others in serious ways.
because most of us want to see ourselves as "good people." we have good intentions and do not want to hurt others. so we cannot be in the category of "people who abuse others" because we have decided that that is a separate category of "bad people who want to harm others."
which means that we may not be able to consider the possibility that we are capable of seriously harming or even abusing other people, if we imagine that we are in a totally separate category of people than "abusers."
and if we cannot consider the possibility that we might be harming or abusing people, we cannot consider how to prevent or try to repair it.
also, placing "abusers" in a separate category in this way places them beyond redemption. if you have hurt others and believe you are part of an unchangeable category of "inhuman evil abusers," you may be unable to consider that changing how you act is possible. difficult, but possible.
and you may be too drowned in guilt and anger to believe yourself worthy of love, connection, and all other basic human needs, since you are in the "evil bad undeserving person" category. and perhaps others are also treating you this way, if they know about what you did. you may not know how to meet your own needs or that you deserve to try, and you may not be able to form loving connections with others.
this creates the conditions for further isolation, which makes you more likely to harm yourself and others. self improvement may be possible when your basic human needs are met, including human connection.
the people you have hurt do not owe you that love and connection, though repair may be possible depending on the specific circumstances. but you still need it to thrive and grow and learn how to do better. love and kindness are skills we learn from each other.
also, many people who have been abused are taught by the people and systems who abused them that they are actually in the "evil bad undeserving abuser" category, even if they have not actually hurt anyone. this creates suffering for them, and increases the likelihood that they will hurt others inadvertently.
and sometimes while or after being abused you really did hurt or even abuse other people. trying to place people in neat unchangeable categories of "abuser" and "abused" makes it much harder to see the truth in all of these situations, which makes it harder to understand that someone is abusing you, or that you are abusing someone, or both. and therefore how to avoid or stop or try to repair it.
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