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@apocstasy
pinned post.
        Ęá´Ęɪɢɪá´á´ęą á´Ęá´á´á´á´, á´á´ęąęą ĘĘęąá´á´ĘÉŞá´, ɢá´É´á´Ęá´á´ÉŞá´É´á´Ę á´Ęá´ęąá´,              Ęá´É´á´á´É´á´ÉŞÉ´É˘ á´É´á´'ęą ę°á´ÉŞá´Ę, á´á´ĘĘá´á´ÉŞÉ´É˘ ęąÉŞÉ´
penned by grey (27, they/them) Gdoc (in progress)
ind. & sel. rp blog for val of outlast II
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(this weekend was way busier than i expected, im not gone, i promise lol)
(the p bots found me :/)
Willa Cather // Franz Kafka
I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare: crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor and surviving.
independent multimuse for kazuhira 'benedict' miller, yevgeny borizovitch volgin & jack krauser. 18+. private & selective. penned by han.
| carrd | main |
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just a girl in situations
(Iâm just emotional about what Murkoff and Papa Knoth have done to her. Val isnât an inherently violent person, they just ruined her. The religious trauma from a cult mixed with the fucked up experiments that Murkoff was doing to Temple Gate and literal mercury poisoning just made her lose sight of everything, but there are still hints of her left between the impulsive violence and intrusive sexual thoughts.
Val has always viewed herself as a motherly figure and a caregiver, and has always been full of love that she was desperate to share with other people but Iâm sure there were strict rules about affection within The Testament.
Her affection and love for her friends and fellow townspeople was probably often seen as inappropriate. and thatâs what Ruth might have been talking about to Paul in the note Valâs Secret.
 âBut my knowledge of Val and his character, it frightened me terribly and I would not accept any such invitation.â
Iâm not talking about the interaction that the note is referring to specifically because at that point, Val had started to be really effected by the radio towers broadcasts. She was already having the intrusive dreams and starting to believe that something unholy was speaking to her, things were already starting to get warped within her mind.
Iâm talking before that, I always wondered what might make people question her character despite her being Knothâs Chief Deacon, and often referred to as his very favorite. And I think it could have been Valâs affectionate personality, and her effeminate appearance/personality/voice/mannerisms.
While I have absolutely no interest in writing any sort of transphobia directed at her, I feel like it would be a complete disservice to her if I pretended that she never experienced it. Considering Temple Gate was a very traditional place with Old Testament morals, the other members could and would demonize her feminine nature as something perverse when it wasn't.
But because of Murkoff, it did get all jumbled up in her head. But even despite the broadcasts, she still views herself as a mother figure to the followers she had taken from The Testament, but her perception of love has been corrupted at that point.)
a mission that went wrong. that's all ashley could think about when someone brought her to the church. the details surrounding it all are still fuzzy, but as ironic as it seems, she's spent more time in churches due to circumstances out of her control than she likes to admit. however, her focus isn't on the building; instead, ashley waits for the sound of anyone inside the church. at this point, she almost thinks the presence of the madman, sullivan knoth, as he's known, or one of his followers would be a welcome sight. but there is only silence until a voice comes from out of nowhere ( at least it felt like nowhere, the lack of proper light helps with nothing ).
panic soon bubbles in her chest as she prepares herself for the worst. has the time come for knoth to reveal his truth about her to his followers ? she would pray not ( considering she is far from the person he believes she is ). her brows fold against her forehead, & ashley listens while the other speaks & slowly shakes her head. she pulls away from reach, knowing she has no means of defense in her person.
â how ⌠how can i know that i can trust you ? â she asks, having been in situations like this prior. although this time is different, her brain continues to replay the events of her first kidnapping & the events following it.
"You can't know," val stated simply, realistically. the outsider hadn't a reason to trust anything that anyone here said to her; not after what she had been endured. dragged to the depths of a chapel and chained to a bed that was stained with the blood of countless others. "But what other option do you have?" two more steps and the deacon reached the muddy floor of the showroom. she stayed a good distance away, not wanting to rush at her and frighten her any further. if she decided to put up a fight, she might alert someone else, someone with bad intentions.
"My name is Val," she introduced.
she carried something in her arms, but it was hard to make out through the darkness of the room. a handsewn dress was bundled up against her chest, a headscarf, a pair of boots. the deacon's head craned slightly to the left and an awful feeling of pity mixed with dread was stirring in her heart. the poor girl. val had to control herself, lest she want to frighten her further, but fingers clenched down subconsciously at the clothes in her grasp.
"Papa, he didn't hurt you- did he?" there's a hitch in the woman's voice at the implication; no she seemed much too conscious for anything to have happened. but they were on an indeterminate time limit. "I mean- Can you stand?"
(YALL guess who scored GHOST TICKETS for august)
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talk about near-death experience. â ASHLEY GRAHAM of resident evil 4 & resident evil 4 remake. independent & private, by venus.
@betaofthedead asked: â i hope to repay your kindness someday. â
val shook her head, but the look cast in beta's direction was one of admiration. "You owe me nothing," she insisted. "I don't do these sorts of things so I can get something in return. I do these things because I want to. Because I enjoy it... Because I love you so." val brought the leather she was working on up to her mouth to rip right above the thread knot with her teeth. "There, see if these fit."
fingerless gloves that she made by hand were passed over to him. butchering a cow was rare, but eventually when their livestock grew too old, the meat was the only thing left that they had to offer. val personally made sure nothing was wasted, as a thank you for their gifts. "But if you really feel like you must do something... pay it forward. Love someone else too."
@apocstasy asked: â o2ďš sender  offers  receiver  a  bite  from  their  fork . For Negan!
Negan without hesitation opens up his mouth to invite the cooked piece of poultry STABBED through with her fork, slowly pulling away. He chews at the meat thoughtfully for a moment, suddenly letting out a groan of delight. " Fuck me, that is damn good. " He smirks across the table at Val as he lifts a cup of water to his lips, taking a small sip.
" Shit, I'm sorry. You probably don't curse around here, huh? Forgot that the big man upstairs doesn't really like that. " Negan points towards the SKY with his fingers and chuckles at himself for apologizing for his profanity while also dropping a curse word right at the beginning of the sentence. " Just couldn't help myself. You're knockout and a talented cook. How has nobody put a ring on that finger yet? "
val let out a bashful laugh and absently fiddled with the collar of her robes, feeling a heat color her ears pink. but her eyes seemed to say different, the way they looked up at negan through the lashed. "I made a personal vow to stay unwed. If I were to get married, my focus might shift away from the whole and only to a few. The people here rely on me. Papa relies on me." the words may have come out a little too easily, as if she's said this to herself many times before.
she carved the roasted bird that was butchered specifically for negan's arrival. two servings were given on two different plates with sides of grain and vegetables. "Sit down, sit," val gestured to the dining table, taking a deep breath because she hadn't noticed she was holding it for a moment. "Let's not talk about that, I want to hear about you. I didn't know other people survived, I thought it was just us." their town being shielded by the grace of god, said knoth. "... Are there locus? Are the trees out there filled with blood?"
(Iâm probably over analyzing things but I donât care. But the vast difference between Valâs education and the common villagerâs education is so interesting to me. Most of the notes found by random members of Temple Gate are nearly illegible, theyâre almost completely illiterate. Not only is the spelling and grammar wrong, but just the speech patterns in general are very off.
Even Marta, who Knoth claims to have a close relationship with, was shown to have improper sentence structure. You never see her writing and most of which she says is just her repeating biblical text / Knothâs sermons but when sheâs arguing with Ethan, she makes mistakes like âthe prophet donât need your helpâ instead of the prophet doesnât need your help.
Meanwhile, all of Valâs journal entries are articulated well, spelled correctly, and with proper grammar.
I feel like Val was the first person Knoth really came to fully trust. Knoth clearly used lack of education and information as a tactic to keep people under his thumb. If they were unable to find information that contradicted him their selves, then theyâre less likely to question his word. They hadnât much choice than to just believe him.
Iâve said before but Val had to have been born in Temple Gate, she didnât join willingly, but despite being younger than a lot of the members, she was still Knothâs righthand man. His chief deacon, his absolute favorite. Knoth gave her all the education that he deprived from others- and thereâs a saying that goes âthe mortal enemy of faith is knowledgeâ. Knoth is the one who gave Val the resources to start to question him. She had the ability and the insider knowledge of the true workings of their church to start to form her own thoughts and opinions, and she didnât like what Knoth was doing. She got older and started to fully understand that he wasn't helping anyone, he was hurting people. He was a megalomaniac. Seeing as she didn't know anything else, it's not fair to simply say she should have left or gotten help from the outside. It's not that simple.
While this isnât canon, I think itâs sort of an interesting thought that maybe he was grooming her to become the next âprophetâ in a sense as he was getting older in age. He knew he wasnât actually divine, he wasnât immortal, but he probably needed someone to continue on what he was doing, and he thought it could gave been Val. But she ended up doing the exact opposite and betrayed him, turned some of his followers against him. With or without Murkoff, I think he set up his own demise when he tried to manipulate Val.)
@apocstasy asked: â 76ďš sender is caught snooping in receiverâs things . For Shane!
With the door to the room he's staying in left ajar and the sound of RUSTLING coming from within, Shane slowly approaches, one hand lingering on his belt where the handle of his hunting knife is. Upon closer inspection when he reaches the doorframe, it's only Val. Though, his muscles still tense as she's rifling through the bag containing his belongings.
" Usually you wanna ask before goin' through somebody's things. " Shane shakes his head in MILD amusement, taking a few strides into the room, stopping dead in his tracks when the blonde woman takes out his handgun. A NERVOUS chuckle leaves him as he eyes the gun and Val. " Go ahead and put that back now. "
Clearly she isn't aware of how to properly handle one because before he knows it the barrel is pointing right at him. His training kicks in like a natural INSTINCT, his hands immediately flying out to grab Val's wrist, redirecting the gun's position and twisting it out of her grip. When that's safely done, he keeps her arms pinned to her back. " What in the hell do you think you're doing pointin' a fuckin' gun at me like that, huh?! You wanna be busy cleanin' up my goddamn brains from the walls? "
val didn't seen deterred in the least bit when shane's voice spoke up behind her. delicate hands continued to wade through his stuff; mostly clothes, a half drank bottle of water, a photograph of a few people- she lingered on that for a moment. before the gleam of metal took her interest and she grabbed it up. it was unfamiliar to her and much heavier than she was expecting it to be. "Don't forget you're in my village," she teased. "Are you saying you'd let some stranger stay with you without seeing if they were safe? I have children here."
her turn towards him genuinely wasn't meant to be a threatening gesture. she liked shane, she was open to him staying there permanently as long as he got on with the others and understood that everyone within the community was expected to help provide.
"What is it?"
val lifted it without much thought of the danger she imposed on the other, the way her finger was absently laying against the trigger; it was just the natural grip of the device. her eyes had drifted down to the item and that seemed to be just enough time for shane to grab her up, turn her around and yank this so-called gun from her grip. the action had a much different effect on her than it might other; val a little, a flirty tone to it even. "Oh, my." her head leaned back against his shoulder, eyelashes batting in his direction. "Is it safe to say you're feeling all better? I've been waiting to see those arms in action since we met."
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god forbid a girl is bisexual and fucking insane
Mun vs. Muse + Picrew!!
