Vinny

ask me about the fucking green goblin or something please

please do not write the witcher imagines in my askbox

venom took control of morbius once and the first thing he did was jump off a building. i didnt even try to stop him actually

i hate thirty seconds to mars

can everyone stop doing crimes in the fucking snow storm. i am not wearing anything under this outfit i am freezing my spiderdick off

wait how the fuck do you know who miles is

have you guys seen gas prices right now. jesus. its a good day to be able to shoot ropes from your wrists and swing around to places using those ropes like tarzan

in response to the crazy internet theories that i, spiderman, am secretly mayor zohran mamdani: ill never tell ;)

hes taller than you so no

by like an inch you asshole shut up

in response to the crazy internet theories that i, spiderman, am secretly mayor zohran mamdani: ill never tell ;)

hes taller than you so no

by like an inch you asshole shut up

im fairly certain sandman and i go to the same bodega and i know it and he knows it but its kind of like. a truce zone. he goes in and buys his shit i go in and i sweep up after him

nevermind he just grabbed the last mikes harder lemonade and $100 phone card its on SIGHT

got really fucking high the other day and convinced myself that there was a new villain in the city and had a full on fight with a rat. not like a superpowered rat just regular

:(

god im sorry.

i loved you in ratatouille

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine

daredevil? dare him to what?

that hiatus really did something to my quip ability i just dont know if ive got it in me anymore

got really fucking high the other day and convinced myself that there was a new villain in the city and had a full on fight with a rat. not like a superpowered rat just regular

in fairness to the rat it survived a honda civic to the face so maybe we do have something to be worried about

Superpower: immune to car-based damage after being bitten by a radioactive Toyota Hilux

jameson wants me sooo bad. "menace" huh then why am i literally every headline youve ever written. the closet is glass girl

hello yes i am spiderman please give me a one thousand dollars in gift cards right now

"thwip thwip"

^^ my famous catchphrase

i havent been hacked or anything i just really need some money

being spiderman is difficult....being spiderman and funny is harder

id like to finally put the debate to rest and say officially, ONCE AND FOR ALL, there is no hyphen in spiderman. its one word, guys. one word

"oh spiderman wheres the hyphen" "oh i cant believe you forgot the hyphen" "hyphen hyphen hyphen hyphen" SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP I CANT STAND IT!!!! this was literally the first thing i posted on this blog there is no hyphen maybe in some other universes theres a hyphen but in my universe THERES NO HYPHEN

sorry. i lost control there and im sorry for lashing out. however if one more person asks me about the hyphen ill beat the shit out of you spiderman style