Ver5tappen truther

He kept quiet as he walked into the living room but Max’s father turned his head anyway. 

Jos was sat on his couch, drinking something amber from a bottle Max paid for. Donut was sitting in his lap, belly up, receiving pats.

“I spoke with Sophie on the phone” Jos said. “She is going to stay with Max the first week of testing, and I will do the second”

“Oh” Charles hovered by the cat tree, kneading his fingers together. “Are you sure? I mean. . . he requires quite a lot of care still, we have found a good nurse for him actually. Lucian, Luke, he will visit daily when I am away. You should meet him before you go”

He can’t imagine Jos willingly helping Max shower or wipe his ass, or Max letting him, but maybe Charles doesn’t know anything at all. 

“Yes, I know all that” Jos said harshly. “Nurse or not, he can’t stay in the house by himself long yet, what if something happens in the night?” He scoffed at Charles and  took another drink. “You are going to drive this year”

“I am” Charles nodded once. “My doctor has said that I am fit to race, so. . . ”

Jos stayed silent. 

Charles shifted from foot to foot. 

Before this week, Charles doesn’t think he and Jos had ever been alone before. He can’t say he ever wanted it. 

Max came out to his father in 2025, at Zandvoort. He never told Charles why he chose there and then, he just did it. Shockingly, Jos was less bothered by it than Charles thought he would be. 

“He just fucking nodded and then asked me a question about the set up for the race” Max laughed, eyes filled with tears of relief. He let out another bark of hysterical laughter, cleaning snot from his nose with the sleeve of his racesuit. “Thank fuck, right?”

“Do you think that is the right choice?” Jos spoke so quietly Charles almost didn’t hear him. 

“What do you mean?”

Jos didn’t speak. 

Charles took a step forward. “You think if these roles were reversed you wouldn’t be telling Max to race?”

“No, I didn’t say that”

Charles glared at him. Jos scoffed at that.

“My son is going to be a wheelchair for the rest of his life I can say whatever I want to say”

Charles felt like he had swallowed a rock. His eyes drifted down to the floor. 

“Look at me when I am speaking to you”

Charles looked up. 

“There is always a risk while driving. We all know it, everytime you get in the car, you might not get back out” Jos said. “But no matter what happens you get back in the car. Cannot feel fear. You get back in” Donut jumped off of Max’s fathers lap, yowling.  “But Max is not getting back in the car. He’s not fucking walking. You fucking crippled him” His voice was barely above a whisper. Jos’ chin wobbled. “My handsome boy”

“Don’t, don’t say that- it wasn’t on purpose-”

“-Of course it wasn’t fucking on purpose, you are in gay love with each other” Jos snapped. “Godverdomme, Charles” He said it the French way, with the silent s. “You are an idiot, and I-” He waved a big hand in the air. “Everythig has gone down the drain all of it. Me and Max, Max, he had it all figured out, what he wanted to do with the rest of his career, his big ten year plan once he finally finished with F1. The things he would’ve achieved, because he is Max, he is my son. We were so excited”

Charles felt numb. “. . . he never showed me that”

“Of course not, because he didn’t want to leave F1 until you got your championship because he didn’t want to make you feel bad” Jos said scathingly. 

Charles wanted to slip out of his skin and fall into a puddle of flesh on the floor.