HE WON'T BE JOINING US, said Death.
'Oh, and why not? Both of the children did letters to him,' said Susan. 'There's rules, you know.'
YES. THERE ARE RULES. AND THEY'RE ON THE LIST. I CHECKED IT.
Albert pulled the pointy hat off his head and spat out some soot.
'Right. He did. Twice,' he said. 'Anything to drink around here?'
'So what have you turned up for?' Susan demanded. 'And if it's for business reasons, I will add, then that outfit is in extremely poor taste ----'
THE HOGFATHER IS . . . UNAVAILABLE.
'Unavailable? At Hogswatch?'
YES.
'Why?'
HE IS . . . LET ME SEE . . . THERE ISN'T AN ENTIRELY APPROPRIATE HUMAN WORD, SO . . . LET'S SETTLE FOR . . . DEAD. YES. HE IS DEAD.
Terry Pratchett / Hogfather
