Awake My Soul

I’m too exhausted to explain my soul to someone again.

i just wanna go. not even pack my things. i wanna travel light. so light, that I won’t even feel myself. i just wanna leave everything behind and go. i don’t even care where my feet might my take me. i just wanna keep going until my feet hurt. i just wanna leave and never come back. ever again.

I’m having this inner conflict all the time: “I have been through so much. I can take any kind of pain” vs. “I have been through so much. I cannot take any more pain.”

I feel feelings in extremes. I either feel extremely happy or extremely sad. There’s no in between; there is no grey. You wouldn’t believe me how exhausting that is.

All I do is live in memories I’m trying to forget.

Choose people who choose you.

You go away for a long time and return a different person - you never come all the way back.

I am hopelessly in love with a memory. An echo from another time, another place.

There are two people you’ll meet in your life. One will run a finger down the index of who you are and jump straight to the parts of you that pique their interest. The other will take his or her time reading through every one of your chapters and maybe fold corners of you that inspired them most. You will meet these two people; it is a given. It is the third that you’ll never see coming. That one person who not only finishes your sentences, but keeps the book.

It doesn’t make sense to call ourselves ugly, because we don’t really see ourselves. We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm. We don’t see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing. You don’t see yourself looking at someone with love and care inside your heart. There’s no mirror in your way when you’re laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you. You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly yourself.

When you come back you will not be you. And I may not be I.

Stop thinking your way through life, always trying to work it out before living it. Life is to be lived, not analyzed to death. Feel.