ChangingTide

Things continue to be stressful and less-than-normal, but progress is continuing.

The nurse-practitioner got back in touch last week to advise me about the hemoglobin; their stance was that, despite the levels being somewhat high, it was not to a dangerous degree - but they told me that I could lower the dosage by a full point for the next injection. I said that I'd prefer to lower by a smaller increment at first (around half that much) and would see how I'm feeling before lowering another half-point. I was also advised that it might take a couple of weeks to see any changes reflected in my hemoglobin levels during any blood tests, so I likely won't reattempt a plasma donation until the week after next.

It was a significant relief to hear that there wasn't as much danger as I'd initially thought, though.

This week's injection went fairly well; I've lowered the dosage by that half-point, to see how my body handles the drop. The site itself is a little sore/tender, which might be partly because I had a bit of trouble getting the needle to pierce the skin again. I might have pinched up the skin in a weird way, or been holding too tightly, I'm not fully sure.

But aside from that small hiccup, things went well, and now all that's left is to see how the lower dosage makes me feel - and to try and tackle all the remaining work for this month.

That's going to do it for now.

There have been some ups and downs along the path toward normalcy, but progress is being made, little by little.

I got some troubling news regarding my hemoglobin / iron levels this past week, and so I've reached out to my nurse practitioner about lowering my dosage to try and get my iron at a lower (and safer) level. The unfortunate thing is that the clinic tends to be closed on Sunday/Monday, so I likely won't hear back from anyone until Tuesday at earliest - but I'm hoping they can advise me on how to proceed soon.

The injection this morning went very smoothly; I stuck to the currently-prescribed dosage this week, but hopefully I'll be on a lower dose next time. I haven't yet eaten, but will be grabbing a bite after this post goes up; after that, I'll be trying to catch up on a bit more work. (This past week has been rather more hectic than I'd anticipated, which meant I got almost nothing done, unfortunately.)

That's going to do it for this entry; I'm hungry...

I'm staying with family for a while; the situation overall is becoming a little more manageable, and although there's still quite a lot to do before things can start becoming closer to normal, things have taken a turn toward the positive.

The injection today went fairly smoothly; I've got a bit of a different setup where I'm at, but there weren't any hiccups beyond a couple of little bubbles that wanted to linger in the syringe at first.

I didn't wind up getting to eat much after the injection, but I think being in a new environment has helped be something of a distraction in a lot of ways (and from a lot of things, haha), and while I do feel hungry, I'm not feeling any discomfort or gastric distress, which is very nice.

I'm playing a bit of catch-up from this past week or so; having to relocate has put a bit of a strain on my usual work schedule (among other things), so I've got a bit of reshuffling to do for the next couple of weeks - maybe even month - before I can get myself back into a more comfortable work routine.

But I'm feeling fairly optimistic for how things should go over the next few weeks; I can already feel my mood improving by a fair bit.

That's going to do it for this entry, I might go find some food...

Unfortunately, the situation continues, but I'm hopeful that things have begun to take something of a turn toward the positive.

The injection today went much more smoothly than last week; although I chose a bit of an awkward spot on my leg for how I needed to angle my arm and the needle, it went in painlessly and without any of the resistance in my leg last week. There was also just enough of a blood-bead after the needle was withdrawn for me to place the bandage, which I always appreciate when there isn't a larger bandage handy.

Physically I'm feeling fairly drained, thanks to the stress of the general situation I'm in, but I tried to take things a little slower today, and I think that might have helped a bit. I also got a tiny bit of gender euphoria after hearing my recorded voice for the first time since I've begun this journey; it's such a strange but wonderful feeling to *not* immediately hate the sound of my own voice - and instead feel a weird little bubble of happiness rise up in my chest.

I'm glad that I had a little something pleasant to mention for this entry - and just before the end of Pride, too~ That's going to be all for this entry, though; I've got quite a busy week ahead...

The situation, unfortunately, is continuing.

The injection was a little odd today; the needle did not want to go past the outermost layer of skin, so I tried readjusting my pinch-grip a few times to see if that would help - and it did not. At one point, I let go of my skin altogether and tried to ease the needle in, but it seemed stuck. I re-pinched the skin and was able to push the needle in; after the resistance, it slid in a little too well, so it went deeper than I'd wanted it to, but I'm not experiencing any weirdness or unusual tenderness/pain at the injection site.

I did draw up a little blood in the syringe after the solution was emptied, but I was kind of expecting to, with how deeply the needle went. I've also had the syringe pull a tiny bit of blood into the needle afterward before, so I'm not too worried about that.

There also wasn't any bleeding after the needle withdrew, so I don't think I caused all that much damage. I'm curious about why the needle was fighting me so much at the beginning, but it might just be as simple as me having accidentally hit a patch of scarred tissue from a previous injection without realizing.

I'm feeling alright physically; emotionally is another story, thanks to this Situation that's hanging over my head, but I'm going to try and stay optimistic that things will resolve soon.

That's going to do it for this entry.

I'm hoping that soon, I'll be able to say that the situation has resolved itself. I cannot say that today.

Things with the injection went fairly well; the needle didn't quite want to go in, but that was probably because of how hard I was pinching the somewhat-awkward section of skin that I'd pulled up between my fingers/thumb. Everything else went just fine, though; I'll need to start a new vial next week, since there's not much left in the current one.

I've got a fair bit to do today, so I'll need to end this entry here.

As before, unfortunately, the situation is continuing.

Things with the injection went smoothly, at least; there wasn't any noteworthy pain or discomfort at the injection site, and the new vial didn't give me any trouble. I picked a spot that bled a fair bit, and I won't be too surprised if the bandage winds up getting fairly saturated, but the upside is that I was absolutely sure that the bandage went onto the right spot.

Most of what I've been feeling has been a result of the stress from the aforementioned situation, so I don't feel that's worth going over here.

Hopefully things will start to head toward a resolution fairly soon, though... I'm pretty much at the end of my wits at this point...

But things are going to get better. One way or another.

The situation persists, frustratingly, so this will be another short post.

The injection went fairly smoothly this week, with no hiccups or air bubbles with the syringe or needle. There was even a tiny bit of blood to help me with placing the bandage afterward, which is helpful with the smaller sorts; I will need to get some more bandages soon, come to think of it.

I might have chosen a bit of a sensitive spot for the injection, though, because there's a fair amount of tenderness/soreness, and it's been nearly an hour since the injection was done. There are no other signs that something is wrong, which is fortunate, and so I'm not too concerned about the soreness. I have a feeling that it will fade away by the time I've been able to eat.

That's going to be it for this post.

Unfortunately the aforementioned awkward situation is still ongoing, seemingly without an end in the near future...

I'm trying my best to stay optimistic, but this has been an incredibly stressful past couple of weeks, and I can't pretend otherwise.

The injection went fairly well; I needed to start a fresh vial this time, but that didn't give me any trouble at all. I did pinch the skin awkwardly, though, and wound up not quite numbing the pain, so this week was a bit uncomfortable when the needle went in.

Things went smoothly otherwise, thankfully; there isn't any soreness or tenderness, I feel no dizziness or nausea, and there was even just enough blood to help me place the smaller-than-usual bandage after the needle was withdrawn.

I'm afraid this is going to be another short entry - and that might continue for a while, at least until the situation starts to stabilize some.

Things went smoothly this week, despite the awkward situation continuing; I chose a good spot for the injection, or pinched up the right amount of skin for it to be a painless one - maybe a bit of both. There's no soreness to speak of either, and I'm feeling fairly well physically, for the most part.

I'm afraid this is going to have to be another brief entry; got lots to get done and not much time to do it.

This was a bit of an awkward week; something rather urgent came up that's been disrupting (and will continue to disrupt) the routines, as it were, but things went smoothly for the most part with the injection.

I picked a bit of a tender spot this time, and there's a fair bit of burning at the injection site, but I'm hoping that'll fade rather quickly - especially after I've gotten some food in me.

I likely won't have a whole lot to report for a while, at least until things have settled down a bit. I won't go into detail here, but things are shaken up enough that I'm feeling a bit less like blogging and a bit more like getting things actively taken care of, if that makes sense?

Vague as it is, I apologize. That's going to have to be where I end it for this week.

I didn't quite have enough for a full dose left in the vial, so I had to start a new one today. The injection itself went well; the air bubbles were easy to flush from the syringe, and there wasn't any pain when the needle went in.

I did have some slight tenderness for a while afterward, but a bit of massaging helped the injection site calm down fairly soon.

I've got a bit of work to catch up on, so this is going to be another shorter entry.

I ate a little while before it was time for the injection, and I think I might have hit a good window between eating and injecting; the last time I ate before the injection, I wound up feeling TERRIBLE for several hours afterward. This time, I feel just fine - a little groggy, but I was already running on a low battery from a fairly long day beforehand (burned the midnight oil again, oops).

It's odd to still notice some changes all this time later; it's nothing sudden or drastic like my voice, but it's still noticeable, at least to me. A while ago, I came across another transmasc blog here on tumblr, and one of the blogger's comics was talking about "becoming a proud arm hair farmer, tending to the fields," and while it gave me a good smile at the time, I think I've arrived at much the same point in my journey.

Slowly, bit by bit, my arm hair is becoming more pronounced. It's a small thing, and maybe a little silly - but I honestly do feel a weird measure of joy when I realize I can actually see some fuzz when I glance at my arms. I'm not entirely sure why my arms in particular seem slowest to achieve a more masculine sort of texture where the hair is concerned; maybe it has to do with genetics, or my age? Possibly a combination.

I won't be in to see the nurse practitioner for quite a while yet, but I'll try to remember to ask about that if there's time during my next checkup.

Whatever the reason, I'm glad for a bit more gender euphoria wherever it presents itself.

Little bits of positivity (even the ones that feel rather selfish, like this one) are kind of important these days, I think.

That's where I want to leave this entry, on a positive feeling.

I did need to start a fresh vial this week; it slipped my mind how much had been used up from the previous one, but I had plenty of alcohol wipes nearby to sanitize a new one for this week. The injection itself went smoothly, with no pain or discomfort at all and no struggle with the syringe.

I did need to guesstimate where to put the bandage afterward, though, because I couldn't quite tell where the needle had gone in (and there was no bleeding at he injection site), but hopefully the bandage is in the right general area.

I've been keeping myself busy and occupied - it's not much of a distraction from what's been going on, but I'm trying to do what I can to stay active, stay optimistic, and stay sane...

I hope that, if there's someone out there reading this, you've been able to do something similar.

Things went smoothly for the most part this week, though I did feel fairly woozy immediately after the injection. I definitely nicked a few capillaries this time around; when I did the firmer few presses to make sure the syringe had emptied properly, I actually pulled up a bit of blood into the needle - which has never happened before, and gave me a bit of a startle at first.

But the injection site itself feels fine, and there was barely a trace of blood when I took away the ball of cotton, so there was no major bleeding to suggest that I'd hit a vein or anything of the sort. I did things in reverse order this morning, and ate before the injection (rather more than I should have, at that), which might be why I'm feeling rather out of sorts.

I've taken some antacids to see if they'll help with the unease in my stomach, and am going to monitor myself carefully for a few hours to make sure everything is alright.

(I'm pretty sure everything's fine, but I prefer to err on the side of caution with things like this.)

Things remain stressful, but I'm trying to hold onto some hope for an optimistic turn. I don't particularly expect one, to be fair - but that's not going to stop me from hoping for one.

That's going to need to be where I end this entry though.

There wasn't quite enough in the previous vial for anything noteworthy; I think I need to try a different technique to get the last part of a nearly-empty vial, because this time the fraction of a fraction of a dosage's worth that I did manage to draw into the syringe was less than what got pushed out with the change in air pressure when the needle was withdrawn...

Other than the loss of a bit of fluid from that previous vial, though, things went smoothly this week. The new vial didn't give me any trouble, and there wasn't any stubborn trapped air that needed to be wrestled out of the syringe.

I'm feeling a bit woozy and mildly ill this time around, but that might be a combination of a number of factors - stress being one of them.

But let's be honest, who out there isn't stressed halfway out of their minds, with everything that's going on...?

Frustrating (and downright terrifying) actions of certain people are weighing pretty heavily on the minds of most people on the planet.

It feels trivial to say things like "hang in there" or "keep your chin up" with all that's happening. I honestly don't even know how many folks check in on this tiny little journaling blog, but if you're reading this, please try to do as much as you can to stay safe. Check in on your loved ones, and try to keep in touch with each other. It's looking like things are going to get pretty rough, but don't let whatever happens chase the love out of your heart.

We're going to make it through this.

Stay safe out there.

I had just over enough for this week's dosage left in the vial, so I'll need to open a fresh one next week. This week went a little bit more slowly, partly because I wasn't quite as rushed, and partly because I chose a bit of an awkward section to inject into - that or I was pinching the skin a bit too firmly again, I'm not fully sure which.

The injection site was a bit tender for a while afterward, but after I'd eaten, I didn't notice any soreness or tenderness in the area anymore. Part of me suspects it might wind up being a bit itchy as it settles and heals, but that's nothing too unusual.

This is another short entry, as I've got some things I need to take care of as the month wraps up.