Assume queued until proven reblogged

Not because the system is obviously unfair and terrible; that's completely fine. People deal with unfair and terrible systems all the time and there's no reason why going to an afterlife that sucks on a cosmic level means that the afterlife is fake -- maybe the universe just isn't fair. No, anyone who was a fraction less self-absorbed than the four humans would've figured it out by the party.

Because Michael does the little orientation video, where he explains the system. He explains that they, the very BEST people, who did the most good in the world, made it to heaven. And everybody else? "Don't worry about it." He says this to a guy who apparently died after donating his kidneys to a stranger on a bus. He says this to a guy who apparently spent half his life fighting for women's rights and the other half for gay rights in oppressive environments. He says this to a woman who apparently arranged, against the government, a volunteer organisation to personally go out there and clear out minefields around areas frequented by children. And then they all go to a big party...

and they don't give a shit.

At that point it should be blatantly obvious that the good place is fake. Because if you gather a bunch of people together based on the criteria that they selflessly gave their lives to help others, often "bad" people, and you tell them "oh, the vast majority of those people you helped will be tortured forever, don't worry about them, you get to relax in paradise, let's have a party", you would have a riot right there at the orientation. "Good" people, by the criteria Michael proposes, the kind of people who do the things that the actors are claiming they do, would simply not accept that; it goes against everything they are and everything they do. They would do exactly what they did for their whole lives, they would exhibit the priorities and personalities that got them into the good place in the first place.

I'd sit through the presentation thinking "okay, everyone's got their brave faces on, they don't want to attack an angel without preparation, this rebellion will require work, fine," and put on a fake smile, but when they gather at the party and there's not a hint of rebellion, of rage, of righteous fury against heaven? At that point, most people would know immediately that the people around them are lying. It just doesn't make sense for 322 people to change so radically in such a situation.

They probably were furious when they arrived. They probably fought and pleaded against their keepers for years. And their keepers had meetings where they talked about how unhappy the humans were and what they could add to make the afterlife more fun, like unicorns and giant mini donuts (not the same as regular donuts -- Dave will explain).

So he assumed no one else cared because his life had taught him no one else cared, and since a rebellion of 1 is never going to work, he didn't think he could fight the system. (I am kind of surprised he didn't march into Michael's office and demand to be sent to hell because there is nothing anyone can do to deserve eternal torture and therefore nothing anyone can do to deserve eternal happiness when others are being eternally tortured... but maybe he did and Michael laughed at him and told him not to worry about it, and he realized he was all alone with his concerns and had no realistic way to do anything about it. And then when he met Eleanor he had to first solve the problem of "she's totally self centered" before he had any hope of getting her on board for a rebellion against heaven.)

This was intended to be a human Jax doodle but I had a vision

screenshot redraw/frog scene parody doodles to go with this ungodly oneshot

cheers to my friend who was chanting YES YES YES over and over again for this (also certain other dragon-obsessed folk who encourage me)