Novels

Used to read like 20 chapters of like a 300 page book and called it very long but now when reading web novels and can't see the pages I'm like "Oh! 200 chapters? Pretty short but I'm sure it'll be good!" I READ AN 1000 CHAPTER BOOK AND SAID ITLL TAKE ME ABOUT A MONTHNOR TWO GDIANSIAK

Edit: would also like to state I read a 216 chapter web novel and it took me 4 days...

To the first fictional character who’s journey had inspired me and made me fall in love with novels.

🪨Cale the lord of the Stones🪨

Before Cale used his superrock power, I imagined it like this (but the reality is cooler)

He didn't care when it stopped after he noticed how much it pained Lock to even admit it.

He assured Lock instead, before telling him to eat and rest because he had become "too skinny".

I personally like to think that he also assumed the weight of loneliness because that was how he felt when he was a child. Or even when the monsters suddenly invaded, when he was barely an adult himself.

God, how much do you think baby KRS would have liked someone to tell him this, too?

I know there are many other examples in the novel too, but Istg, this one has a special place in my heart. I am rereading it recently for my fanfic, and ugh, it genuinely makes me wanna cry.

Do you know how young 20 years is to have your life uprooted?? To have your one chance of actual freedom and adulthood being snatched away from you, as you somehow end up trapped because of MONSTERS, without food and water, for days???

Fck, the more I read of it, the more it makes me want to hug Kim Rok Soo.

I love that the board/strategy game analogy stuck around throughout the novel instead of just being like. a one off thing.

Anyway, the staff was a motherfucker to draw, since the only (good) reference I had was how it was described in the novel, and the small bit of it you can see on the novel cover. The way it was drawn in the manhwa was abysmal, honestly. I've got many gripes with it.

The lighting is... well, it's there. I was on a bit of a time crunch, since I go out of town soon, and I knew if I didn't finish this now, it was never gonna be completed

The thing about Cale is that he does not sit with his emotions, rarely even gives them proper time to process, until absolutely confronted by them. Instead, he usually avoids, reframes and pretends they are "efficient decisions". He tells himself he is doing things for convenience, profit, stability and minimum damage.

Meanwhile, the oblivious bastard is:

collecting children

building a found family

throwing himself in front of bombs

overworking to protect people

losing sleep over their safety

That’s not a man who is cold and analytical. I mean, he is in certain cases but not always. That’s a man who refuses to admit what he wants.

Now, to the yearner part -- He is one, just not on the poetic, staring-at-the-moon way media advertises nowadays.

He is a suppressed yearner (just as suppressed as he is emotionally). Don't tell me you didn't notice how much he canonically yearns for:

stability (in the name of slacker life, but yeah)

a place that doesn’t disappear

a home he can return to

people who see him and stay beside him

He just translates that yearning into "I want to live quietly" and "This is the most efficient route" rather than the typical "I want you" we are used to.

He craves domestic things (playing with kids, napping, reading peacefully) but never admits it as such. He is afraid of losing the same (Wind Island Test???) but would never say "Don't leave".

Why? Because he is too used to losing everything he holds close anyway.

So instead, he goes "Do what you want." and then does everything to position himself so they don’t have to leave.

Cale does not do the self-aware stuff (too delulu on slacker life dream). In fact, he even rejects his narrative framing as the hero despite all that he is doing.

That is also why I love him, tbh. He is not overly analytical about himself, not even remotely curious. To Cale, he is an 'ordinary' man with trash personality. He is emotionally avoidant, highly observant, and strategically minded, and that is such an oxymoron (sometimes more moron than oxy) that it makes me laugh yet want to smack him upside the head.

He will do everything for the people he cares for, because that's all he knows how to do. Act.

He is a man who says, "That’s inefficient." while rearranging the world so the people he loves never have to suffer.

And fuck, do I not love a yearner like that, someone who would build his life around you in the name of 'using you'.

Anyway, simping aside, this is why Cale is a yearner, just not a traditional one. He loves deeply, builds his life around them silently and would care for you with actions more than words.

My favorite Raon is Raon acting like his dad

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