generally one of televisions best openings

please watch brooklyn nine nine 

Trying to travel to different cities with my boo thang and having people ask me “where the fuck yall at now”

Guys really be out here thinking I won’t smash a wine bottle over their head

I recommend a beer bottle or a glass tumbler. Wine bottles are very hard to shatter, and you’re more likely to split a man’s skull open and cause permanent “attempted murder”-type brain damage, and you want to teach them a lesson not, like, become a convicted felon.

Nice, Thanks for the tip! I’m not a pussy and i can bury a body, but this could help someone else!

IM SO HERE FOR THIS

💕😘😍 this is fantastic wow!!!!!!!!!

I wanna cry this is squad goals

@fiftyshadesofslay @annathebamf omg if you two did this with me T.T

Yes!!! @miso-awkward @fiftyshadesofslay

I mean, we all know that Florence is some kind of Faerie - is any stretch of the imagination that Waterhouse was inspired by her likeness?  

Dudes in 18th century would b like “if u don’t respond to my marriage proposal by next winter I’m going to enlist in the war and die .”

can we please have more aggressively polite memes in the world???