plonky

I know this sounds like the deranged ramblings of a senile old man but I swear it used to be possible to look up information on the internet

no matter the struggles there is always ao3 in bed

no emotional object permanence

you ever get surprised by your own recurring issues. like come on man. I thought we were past this.

sometimes i’m like “i should buy some orange juice! i love it i don’t know why i never have it in the house” and then i get some and i remember it’s because some kind of dormant Scurvy Prevention Instinct activates within me like a sleeper agent trained to seek and destroy, except it’s just me standing in front of the open fridge at two in the morning chugging juice straight out of the carton like a crazed citrus gremlin 

I should buy orange juice

it literally drives me insane that so many companies refuse to send rejection emails like it’s disgraceful tbh. you put so much time and effort into putting together an application and they can’t even be bothered tell you via some measly automated message that you didn’t get the job. you’re expected to just infer

hmmm why does my uterus hurt and why do i feel kinda off. weird. surely these are not the warning symptoms of a predictable biological process that occurs on a regular schedule. anyway. im going to wear white pants today.

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

this is what microwaving leftover pizza feels like

stop it i was trying to be gothic

'you wouldn't pirate a-' i would steal anything from any company. anything in the world. i dont even want it i just hate you

i wish ads felt pain when you skipped them

i wish i could kill the liberty mutual emu in real life

seeing transphobes on tumblr is insane. Brother you are blogging on the trans gay sex website

trfs in the replies calling me a 'gender enthusiast' yes brother. i love gender

why does it cost money

I <3 dog motifs. I <3 dog symbolism. I <3 dog imagery. I <3 devotion to the point of pain. I <3 unconditional love even in the face of violence.

It’s literally dark by 4pm. Do you think that’s good for me? Do you think I am loving that

“what about the old women” yeah i fuck with them too. bisexual