Animals, Aliens, Animorphs, and more!

Chinese Tiger Gecko (Goniurosaurus araneus), family Eublepharidae, China

Berry Monching

- A donor with a scrotum the size of my head. When we opened it up, we discovered it was a MASSIVE inguinal hernia and a good 1.5 ft of intestine were trapped down there.

- A donor with situs inversus totalis, whose organs were a mirror image of what we normally see (ie their heart pointed right and their liver was on the left, just for starters)

- A donor whose right common carotid artery branched off the aorta waaay over on the left hand side of the body and crossed alllll the way back across the thorax to get where it needed to be.

- A donor with 4 lobes for their right lung (should only be 3). We named the 4th lobe the Lisa Loeb, but all of the students were too young to appreciate our sparkling wit.

- A shocking variety of penile and breast implants. Y'all would not believe the number of different ways science has come up to counteract gravity.

- A couple of cases of ectopic kidneys, where a kidney didn't rise to its typical position just deep to the lowest ribs and instead stayed in the pelvis.

My contribution: client co pinched nerve in L side of neck. I asked about health hx; she said, “I've got some extra ribs on that side.”

me: “some?” (!!!!!??!?!??!???)

you think you have One Set Of DNA That Tells You What You Are but that's not true. every single cell in your body is going to be slightly different from each other. not enough to be considered separate individuals in terms of genetics, but different enough to cause weird things to happen. and that's not even counting chimeras AKA people with two distinct individuals' DNA mixed around (or not!) in their body.

and even when it does work, DNA is THE prime example of spaghetti code. a lot of my peers in computer science tend to think of DNA as this straightforward code that the body follows to make whatever it needs to but genetics is such a complicated thing. DNA breaks down all the time, it mutates, when it works it's not like it's magic building your body, the DNA ends up signalling the production proteins and other molecules that then interact with other cells in ways that may interfere with how DNA is expressed there. there's thousands of proteins, hundreds of molecular building blocks, enzymes, and they all interact with each other in extremely complicated ways. a teeny tiny touch here and there could fundamentally alter the functioning of a cell, so much so that it does something truly unexpected (looking at you, cancer).

Use the medications properly to prevent interactions with healthcare providers. The pills are very effective, but they have to be used right. Carefully follow the instructions provided on the How to Use Abortion Pill website. Note that misoprostol tablets should always be taken by dissolving them under the tongue. Do NOT insert misoprostol vaginally if you are self-managing an abortion. While this is medically safe, it can leave incriminating pill remnants that can be detected in the vagina during a pelvic exam if you end up needing to seek medical care. 

If it’s not an emergency but you need expert health advice, use a free calling service like Google Voice to call or text the Miscarriage + Abortion Hotline at 1-833-246-2632. Medical complications are very uncommon with abortion pills, but they’re not impossible. The M+A Hotline is safe to use and is staffed by trustworthy clinicians who volunteer their time to help those who choose SMA. Do not use your own phone number to call as this will create a record that is visible to your cell service provider. 

Don’t disclose any information about SMA to emergency room staff if you do need to seek medical care. This is how most people who are arrested for SMA are reported. Healthcare providers are almost always who calls the police in cases of SMA criminalization. Contrary to popular belief, HIPAA does not protect your private health information from being shared with police if you are suspected of doing something that could be considered a crime. If you believe you need to seek urgent medical care, do not hesitate to go. Say “I think I’m having a miscarriage” and provide your symptoms. Do not mention any use of or purchase of abortion pills. There is no widely available test to detect misoprostol in your bloodstream. If you do not disclose it, there is no way for a medical provider to tell the difference between a medication abortion and a spontaneous miscarriage.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

Purple Glossy Starlings (Lamprotornis purpureus), family Sturnidae, order Passeriformes, Jos, Nigeria

Suwannee Alligator Snapping Turtle (Macrochelys suwanniensis), family Chelydridae, endemic to the Suwannee River Basin of northern FL and southern GA in the SE United States.

Vulnerable.

One of 2 species of Alligator Snapping Turtle.

Silky Anteater a.k.a. Pygmy Anteater (Cyclopes didactylus), family Cyclopedidae, Costa Rica

this is NOT because of blocking screenshots, it's because of HOW streaming sites use your computer's hardware to optimise performance, which means the thing rendering the video and the thing capturing your screen aren't the SAME thing. so they can't talk together.

Affinity, not identity.

These denizens of the deep have super senses 👃💫

Ghost sharks (Hydrolagus spp.) root around the seafloor searching for a meal. They maneuver back and forth with broad fins, sometimes hovering in place, and have an oily liver to boost their buoyancy, conserving their energy. Receptors in their heads detect the electrical signals of invertebrates buried in the mud, while a keen sense of smell helps them sniff out rotting carrion. Their tooth plates can nip pieces of dead fish or crush hard-bodied prey. And a sharp, venomous spine on their dorsal fins offers protection from large sharks and other predators that prowl these same waters.