Cosmic Funnies
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shark vs the universe
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@angelbiscuits
˚₊‧꒰ა angel biscuits ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
⊹ ࣪ ˖ about: she/her | screenwriter | pink! | cancer | wannabe DJ | black | student | reblog warrior
⊹ ࣪ ˖ hyperfixations: the pitt | cod | dispatch | rpdr | the bald and the beautiful | victor lavalle | x-men | supernatural | interview with a vampire | animal kingdom
⊹ ࣪ ˖ goals: finish scripts | be more romantic 😔 | find a penpal! | get this ass fat(-ter)
links for gaza, sudan, and more!!
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Soap is deaf in one ear, btw. The result of years of being too close to explosions and gunfire. He didn't really mind, I mean, there was basically nothing he could do, might as well accept it.
He didn't really mind until he met you. You, who even when he's making you feel the most intense pleasure of your life, are quiet. Not completely quiet, sure you make some sound, but it's never loud enough for Johnny's liking. He just can't hear you :(. That's why whenever you fuck, he makes sure to grip your jaw and force your mouth open right next to his good ear. He makes sure to do everything in his power to make you feel as good as possible, to hear your quiet moans and shaky breaths. He loves every sound you make, no matter how small :)
(Source) August 2nd, 2026.
The Confederated Tribes of Warm Springs Wildfire Recovery Fund
did an ab workout just to start my period the next day (cramps included)
"Why do you need age verification on a site where everyone is 38?"
idk who on earth could possibly need to hear this, but do NOT, under ANY circumstances, give out your SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER to ANY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS
☝️☝️☝️
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i dislike the whole “horror is so back” narrative people are throwing around recently with obsession and backrooms. both are great movies, but horror was also so back with the long walk. and sinners. and the substance. and nosferatu. and literally anything directed by jordan peele. horror as a genre will always have its flops. but there will always be those few that revive the hype.
ᴍᴀʏ fic recs
is it july 29th? yes. am i a little late? well... also yes... anyways, enjoy 💌 my personal faves that I read this month :) please remember to give some love to the writers (that means comments and reblogs, not just likes) 💌
key s = smut sp = spice (nothing explicit) f = fluff a = angst h/c = hurt/comfort smau = social media au
⟢ Joel Miller ☣︎ cocky little questions by @whimsydoe s The Best Birthday Secret by @vintagevenus1111 s, f deep by @littledes1re s too short by @miliebriar s sex pollen by @/littledes1re ft. jack abbot s
⟢ Clark Kent ⎚-⎚ Clark gets a photo from his girl by @luveline f Clark takes care of his tired girl by @/luveline f
⟢ Jack Abbot ⚕ jack comforting you in his lap after by @popepout a, h/c Which one? by @weird-is-life sp you come first by @annsfics a, h/c it's your house too by @/annsfics a, f lullabye (goodnight, my angel) by @mariasont f TEXTS… 2 3 by @eternalabbot smau hurt from his hobby by @bitters-n-sweets a Two reasons to come home by @shadeofpeach a, f Backup by @starling-in-the-sky f, a, h/c jack abbot's broad chest by @penvisions s shameless crier by @weird-is-life f shushing you by @superhoeva s water bottle by @unhoelyplaces f, s laundry fiend by @kiraavi s voicemail by @richeeduvie s meanish!abbot by @dollicits
⟢ Rabbot ❤︎ threesome by @/popepout sp spoiled by @/popepout s Floaty, but not alone by @gragrace a, h/c
⟢ Michael Robinabvitch 𑣲 boyfriend!robby by @welllsblvd f, h/c
⟢ Brendon Park 𓂁 Magic Hands by @seewhoyouwanttosee f, sp Boy dad! Brendon by @zivistardust f texts 2 3 4 by @urfavoritewritersfavoritewriter smau fertility issues by @/zivistardust f, a nurse!reader by @buffalokill f only soft for you brendon park by @dirtgir1 f
💌 fanfic writing is slowly dying and it's because no one reblogs anymore. it doesn't take that much time to give just a little bit of feedback/love (a nice gif, a keyboard smash, your favourite line in italics, etc). please remember that writers are real people who take time out of their day to produce content that you consume without having to pay for it. to reblog means to kiss the writer's forehead. 💌
What if your BOYFRIEND was getting DEPORTED and had to move back to CANADA so you decide to MARRY him but then you chicken out so your FRIEND says that SHE will marry him and then he decides to platonically marry your gay FRIEND instead and then you tell them to KISS but you immediately realize they are in LOVE and then the POWER goes OUT because your OTHER friend didn’t PAY the dumb ELECTRICAL BILL
will never not be mad about gig economy apps making a 4 star rating mean “unacceptable quality”
Doordash will suspend you below 4.2 stars.
Uber drivers can be suspended at 4.6 stars.
Lyft drivers risk suspension under 4.8 stars.
Even for apps where they don’t have a publicly stated minimum, their algorithms will bury you.
4 stars does not mean 4 stars. It means 1.4 stars.
If you give a person a 4 star rating, to these companies, you are not saying “I was mostly satisfied with the service, but there’s always room for improvement”—which is what 4 stars should mean—you are voting for them to be fired.
Genuinely, do not ever give people 4 star ratings on gig service apps for any reason that is not a safety issue where their continuation on the app could seriously hurt people.
If someone gives you “just OK” service where you don’t want to give them 5 stars, but you don’t actively hate their existence and hope they die, just don’t rate them.
I'd like to add (and I hope OP doesn't mind me piggybacking on their post) this applies to a lot of other things too.
I'm a teacher, and every year, the State sends out a "climate" survey to all students, parents, and teachers. It has a 1-5 scale and a 'not applicable' option. If you select 4 or 'not applicable' it's marked against the school.
For example, I'm a virtual teacher. The climate survey has questions about the safety and cleanliness of the halls and bathrooms in the school. A normal person would assume that, if they attend a virtual school, they should use the 'not applicable' option, since their school has no halls or bathrooms. Nope, if they select anything but 5 out of 5, our school gets marked down.
Its not just delivery apps that are rigged like this. Keep this in mind. Assume any survey is rigged like this.
I was warned before completing a survey at my car dealership after my car got serviced (so, you know, a standard thing that everyone with a vehicle should be doing at least once a year) that if I marked the service of the girl behind the counter as anything -below- 80%, she would get a formal write-up.
This girl was uncomfortably cheerful, to the point where anyone who has worked in service and retail could see she was just really, really close to losing her shit, but apparently if she didn't act like that, as a young, attractive woman, men would mark her down to the point she would get in trouble.
And this fear of being marked down didn't make her a better customer service rep. It made her terrified of doing anything wrong.
I once got my car serviced at the dealer, and then pulled out of their complex only to find that my breaks weren’t working. Like, I literally had to pull on the parking break to avoid running a light and sailing into oncoming traffic. After I somehow made it around the block and back into the garage, the service manager (who I should stress was not a mechanic, he was a suit behind a desk) approached me with a look of pure desperation and proceeded to offer me a million different perks if I would still give them 10/10 on the service review. And I was like “Um, I mean, it’s not your fault personally, but my breaks literally failed? That’s kind of serious?” and this grown man starts pleading with me because he has a family to support and anything less than a perfect score on the service review will put his job at risk. I think in the end I said I just wouldn’t fill it out, because I couldn’t in good conscience give a 10/10 for a service job than nearly saw me crashing into an urban intersection, but I also didn’t want to be the reason this guy lost his job. But like… what a horrible system where those are your only choices.
high standards saved me again, or did it fuck me over….
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On this day in 1953, novelist Shirley Jackson replied to a disappointed reader.
f.d signifier’s opps will have to go through me first
clark from backrooms is my 2026 tumblr sexyman
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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✶ — introducing final girl!reader .ᐟ pinboard playlist
survivor ( sərˈvaɪ vər ) ; a person or entity that continues to live, exist, or function despite enduring a life-threatening event, chronic illness, or severe hardship
best paired with slasher!soldier boy
© rh1nestcned ‘26 — do not copy, translate, or repost my work anywhere without my permission or knowledge
