recently got t - worded , used to be smth around my name now
𐙚‧₊˚ ✩ hello !! ૮ ྀི ◞ ◟ ა
it . bite . holy . doll , minor , mixed / native am. ₊˚ ⊹♡
THiS A VENT ACC , DONT BLOCK JS REPORT
it wont help reporting me , i use this acc as a safe space
╭┘♡︎ abt me . . !
┊ loving life !! ( diagnosed w depression + anxiety , med recognized w audhd + pots )
┊ im pretty confident that i have bpd + madd
┊ been dealing w $h + ed for 7 yrs ( this long and im still fat ?? )
┊ i am NOT fatphobic towards others !! its js myself trust
╰┐♡︎ stats . . !
┊height ; 5'5
┊hw ; 153 lbs
┊sw ; 148 lbs
┊cw ; 145 lbs
┊gw1 ; 140 lbs
┊gw2 ; 135 lbs
┊gw3 ; 130 lbs
┊gw4 ; 125 lbs
┊gw5 ; 120 lbs
┊ugw ; 90 lbs
╭┘♡︎ ૮๑′0`๑აིྀ . . !
— 🎀 recently got t - worded , so if this intro looks familiar that was probably me !!
— 🦴 i'm alt human + a possible therian n otherkin ? pls be ok w these things before interacting !!
— 🐾 i LUVVVV drawing , writing ( or at least trying to ... ) , reading , researching stuff i like , decorating things , singing , crafts , theatre , acting , nature , hiking , traveling ( i NEEDDD to do this more often T_T ) , music , video essays , character analysis' , my ocs / making ocs ( plsss ask abt them ... ) , altfashion ( hippie , 2000s , n baggy have my heart <33 ) , kandi , jewelry , PSYCHOLOGY !!!! , cosplaying , meaningful convos , psychological horror ( PLSSS REC ANY KIND OF PSYCH HORROR PLSPLSPLS ) , canines , seraphim's , neo prns , alterhuman stuff , n ppl !!!
— 🎀 games n media -> spec ops: the line , LEGO monkie kid , illusion carnival , fnaf , dont starve together , detroit become human , little nightmares ,the walking dead games , life is strange l + ll, call of duty modern warfare CHARACTERS , dailtown , arcane ( specifically jayce <333 ) , vocaloid , rottmnt , the quarry , until dawn , generation loss , ena , spiderman , moonknight , deadpool , cuphead , coryxkenshin , my little pony , ddlc , mouthwashing , monster high , aesthetics , n prob more !!!
— 🦴 some music i listen to : the crane wives , glass animals , korn , the living tombstone , jt music , bitter ruin , paris paloma , cosmo sheldrake , chonny jash , yaelokre , fiona apple , aidoneus , hako yamazaki , poppy , evanscence , flyleaf , STOMACH BOOK , will wood , sheena ringo , she wants revenge , bôa , きくおはな ( kikuohana) , laufey , mitski , tyler, the creator , some kendrick lamar ( mainly js his more poetic songs ) , etc ??
— 🐾 my hyperfixations change constantly , rn media wise is LEGO monkie kid + my special interest is psychology !!!
— 🎀 this is my vent acc , so i will be posting possibly triggering topics
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bro the pain is so bad im so glad it's almost the weekend - nothing is comfortable n istg im so close to taking 10 aleve for the pain T_T . other than that today was pretty alr eating wise , kinda regret the choc eggs , but at the same time they're prob the lowest cal sweet in my house soooo wtv .
edit : this is from yesterday , got distracted n didnt finish it last night -_-
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I don’t care what you post on edblr, yap whatever you want, it’s your acc, but PLEASE don’t share misinformation disguised as tips.
I saw someone say that “cold water makes you fat because it freezes the fat in your body” are you fucking mad? The starvation is gotta be getting to your head because WHAT
we all know that people here are young, and I mean YOUNG. A lot of them don’t know what a calorie even is and you come and post this “tips” that are only going to give them unnecessary suffering. Do your research before you go on saying stuff like that
ughhhhh why am i so hungryyyy ?? i use to be able to fast for 24+ hrs , im so tired w myself , i js wanna be skinni . why is there so much happening in life rn ??? kmsss
tips for long-term ⭐️ving (might not work for you)
water, water, water, water!
sleep, just sleep
throw all the food in the fridge away (i live alone so it's fcking easy)
watching f@t people eat (utube tiktok etc)
put a bit of pink salt himalaya in your water cup, one/two cup a day to help with dizziness (normal salt also okay)
i usually go to uni library to avoid eating, or somewhere with many people (i cant eat outside so it worked for me)
i usually search on tiktok about f@t people (like "0bese, f@t, chubby") and read those body shaming comments, so that i dont eat
think about the guilt after you eat, u can write it down and stick on the wall that nearest you
tie a thin thread around ur waist
use the ugliest picture of yourself as your phone wallpaper, or the pic of your biggest enemy (if you think she/he is your goal)
ruin your food (mix it up with dishwashing liquid, or spray perfume on it)
think about gaining weights
tapping method (like use ur middle finger and tap on your forehead, collarbone, chin, cheeks, nose, lips etc) whenever you feel like eating
scroll tumbler or tiktok about 4n4 and 3d
think about male gaze (i know it bullshit but i have daddy issues so yeh)
eat fruits (if you dont want to complete ⭐), i recommend cucumber, strawberry and apple, or chia pudding
listen those 4n4 3d songs
i think that's all, i used it and it all worked FOR ME, i usually ⭐ for 2 weeks and spend 2 days to eat (fruits, yogurt, chia pudding, chicken breasts) and repeat it again
and remember when you reach ur goal weight, DONT 3at normal again immediately, start with 200 cals a day and increase a little bit day by day
(honestly i hate myself for write those tips down, i never wish 3d on anyone, but i need to vent)
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soooo today was actually pretty good when it came to self control !! i rlly wanted a second burger and a GROSS dessert , but instead i js ate one and had strawberries w sugar <33 wish i coulda had more steps , but since i sprained my tailbone i shouldn't be doing too much walking T_T
also i may do a list of things that give me motivation / things i do while fasting if anyone would want that ?? plsplspls lemme know ૮๑′0`๑აིྀ
errrr tell me why i had to stop myself from eating chocolate pudding w whip AND oreo dust desserts?? and a SECOND burger?? im surprised ive been holding out for this long wtf
in good news tho my mom bought these protein shakes that r 160 cals WHICH IK SOUND LIKE A LOT- but im only gonna drink one a day at the most js to get more protein
also tell me why my friends think i have ARFiD .... o_o" i mean now that i think abt it they probably arent wrong , but i dont think i need ANOTHER thing to add to the list of shit wrong w me :/
also if anyone cares, apparently i sprained my cortex (bottom of ur tailbone) from leaning back when i sit?? sooo guess who's NOT gonna be able to work out much for the next couple of weeks ... :\
bro i could barely walk this morning so im going to the doctor T_T so i wont be able to workout or post much but ima keep up w fasting unless i have to eat cus wtf why am i in so much pain <33
Why am I so persistent on always making a new tumblr account? Let me think… hmm..
maybe because this is my safe place where I can actually rant and talk about the thoughts that haunt me. And those might not be pretty or “socially acceptable” but is ME.
Life is not perfect, we are humans trying to live our life the way that we think is the best for us. So I just want to talk out here everything that I can’t in real life with my own irl circle. People in here knows the real me, and I like that. I would go crazy if I didn’t have a safe place that I could interact with people that understand what I go through, because we are never alone for more lonely that this feels.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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okay today was actually pretty good considering most of the day i wasn't even think abt food !!! anytime i would take a sip of water and do my school work :P somehow i fucked up my tailbone tho and moving hurts super badly sooooo i couldn't hit my step goal today :( i basically js walked till i made it to 500 cals burned
yall i fucked up my tailbone somehow - how am i supposed to work out ??? i've made it already to around 5k steps, but i gotta burn more cals what the flip 🫶 literally kmsss
