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@andy-and-co
Reminder we have moved blogs to @systemspeculations

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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So we made a new blog @systemhowling and are moving there because we wanted a new space for system and DID stuff. so yeah we will be posting a lot over there
We won't delete this blog, but we probably won't post here again
So we made a new blog @systemhowling and are moving there because we wanted a new space for system and DID stuff. so yeah we will be posting a lot over there
We won't delete this blog, but we probably won't post here again
We haven't engaged with the DID community for so long that we have no idea what a bunch of terms y'all are using mean😅
Gonna change our url soon. Something with no one's names in
Especially seeing as that andy isnt around anymore 😅

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Gonna have to make a post soon about how I ruined my life by pushing away all parts for years becoming more and more unwell and avoiding any life thing that I personally couldn't handle
When like the point of DID is that there is another alter that Can and Should handle that but instead I just rotted alone unemployed for years and only now am coming out of that
So thats that life update
So there was a long while there where we kinda concluded that it probably wasn't DID. It is/used to be Something but we didnt think we fitted DID anymore
Until like a few days ago I was describing some 'symptoms' (to myself) and realised it ticked a lot of the boxes that people describe just before they get diagnosed with DID lmao
friendly reminder that DissociaDID is not a reliable source for information on dissociative identity disorder, or anything else for that matter
of course i'm angry. do you have any idea how many times someone should have helped me?
I got so good at pushing the others away I now couldn't reach them even if I tried
To the point where is this even DID you know

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It feels like having such distinct parts has worked against us
And old andy always had such an issue with anyone even being slightly co con because they felt so separate from himself and all he ever wanted was privacy so 🤷♂️
I wonder why new andrew is always struggling with brain fog(?) and that sort of thing. He also has so few memories of before his time and of his time it makes it hard for him at times. But it also makes it so he cannot dwell on things or be experiencing the bad i suppose?
I like him
Things arent good for us right now and i would have completely destroyed everything if i had been around. Now we just need him to get us a job and we will be sorted (is what he says). (I already am not coping and im barely out)
-old andy
Realising that feeling like 'we' have only woken up about three times in the last like 9 months for very short periods of hours might be related to DID
Like only been actually here and awake and present and being able to think only for a total of about 6 hours since idk march? Is maybe dissociation related
Also its been almost exclusively one part the whole time and we dont even know if thats andy or andy 2.0 or someone else or anything
We stopped labelling our experiences so now it feels like we have none. DID ones i mean
And god the not being able to have thoughts or recall most things for this long is so awful. Our my his (?) recall is so bad he can't recall basic things we used to be able to say in our sleep
And then BAM clarity! Able to think and be back to how we used to be
But literally three times this year
I dont know if we need to start labelling our experiences again. And parts. Because i think that idk i dont know
-someone who thinks theyre andy
I have a lot I would have to say here before I made any other posts- but I don't want to get into the long ramble of it now. The too long didn't read of it all is I don't think I'm the Old Andy, but I'm not Not him in a new or different form. But I'm definitely not him. (I'm more him than another part would be though).
I don't care to label it further than that especially not right now online. I'm the one sorting us out now. I've been out/around since I don't know, last February? I don't want to reach or contact the others- it would be more detrimental to until I sort us out. But i can reach Ed and Oswald and if all parties agree, we can even switch.
There are two types of system littles:
"I'm good! *Reveals something no one else in the system knows about*"
"I'm sad :( *Reveals something no one else in the system knows about*"
I was choosing some mugs to take with us and the second I laid eyes on Oswald's mug is was instant dissociation
Not sure if this means I should or I shouldn't take it though 😅
There is no way we can take that mug. If i dissociate this much whenever i open a cupboard and see it, that's no good. Its the level of dissociation where I stop functioning entirely. Im sat here dizzy withnot being able to move or think so............ thats a no from me

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I was choosing some mugs to take with us and the second I laid eyes on Oswald's mug is was instant dissociation
Not sure if this means I should or I shouldn't take it though 😅
We're moving out after being stuck at our parents' for a long long time. Which ofc means Riley was around for the first time since we came to our parents 😂
He does Not do being stuck there, he makes that my (Andy) job and always has
We don't have a job lined up in the new place which is terrifying as we need one asap, and also because we were studying until now, we actually haven't had one. So the whole thing is a Bit stressful but also I know that we are going to get through this