Andy Hayes

“well it’ll only take about thirty five minutes so we’ve got time, i’ll start cooking as soon as we get home so you can have something before work.”

he should have known andy wouldn’t lack the courage or beat around the bush as he did. shawn rubbed his hands together, blue eyes moving back to her face as she spoke. feeling guiltier by the second because she clearly thought some kind of way about him and what all happened. and about herself, most importantly. that’s perhaps what bothered him the most. “ya can’t pretend it never happened – it did,” shawn eventually said. “it wasn’t dumb..” he sighed, leaning back and trying to figure out a way to say what he felt without it coming off so horribly. “i just.. i wasn’t in a good headspace that night and when ya kissed me, i wanted it.. i needed that comfort.. and the thing is i shoulda never done that n’ disrespected ya that way,” he suddenly rambled out in a rash of words he only prayed made some sort of sense. “ya deserve more than some guy just usin’ what you’re givin’.” he hadn’t meant to allow his accent to slip in so heavily as he spoke, but sometimes the emotion could garble up those intentions to speak clear and concisely.

Andy sighed at his words and just looked away, trying to think of what to say to get him to understand. “I kissed you, Shawn. Not the other way around, you didn’t disrespect me. You were just confused. I was the one that started the whole thing.” And she shouldn’t have, clearly. As he talked about her deserving something more, the girl fought the urge to roll her eyes. “Does anyone really get all that they think they deserve?” She pointed out with a shrug. “If you stop expecting things from people, it’s a lot more fun when they aren’t shit humans. Trust me.” 

“I dunno if I can. Homework sounds pretty good right now” Josh smiled into the kiss as she did, slowly allowing his body to fill the space beside her comfortably instead of holding his weight over her. This was not the first time they had ended up like this and he was sure it wasn’t going to be the last. Truth be told, he thoroughly enjoyed their little secret, even if he knew most of their friends would never let them live it down if they found out. A thought that was far from his mind as his lips moved against hers, hands grabbed her gently to pull her in closer if that was even possible. 

“To take initiative in your own life, because no one else is going to do it for you.”

“let’s do something we shouldn’t,” corbin suggested.

“i was thinking home made pizzas – and i mean the dough from scratch as well – it happens to be my specialty.”

it soon became apparent he’d let his guard down too soon. meda had faced away from him and was quiet, instead of walking out and leaving him there like he’d demanded her to do. ethan sat up on his arm, then sprang to his feet when her question brought on a new panic. “give me that,” he hissed, snatching the papers out of her grasp and tearing them into shreds immediately. “get out of my room – my house,” ethan told her, voice cold. “now, meda.” he couldn’t have her around him, not when he felt like this. he would do something horrible, he just knew he would. and even though he hated her, he didn’t.. and he didn’t actually want to hurt her, despite the times he tried. it was complicated. very complicated. “please, just leave me alone now.” it wasn’t a demand anymore, because his voice had grown softer and his face was turned away, humiliated that she’d even knew about these secrets.

Andy blinked in surprise as Ethan snatched the papers out of her hands and started ripping them up. “Are you serious right now!?” She exclaimed, frustrated. But when she looked up at him, she frowned, noticing the expression on his face. “Why did you write me a letter? Hell, when did you write it?” She wasn’t an expert on handwriting but it didn’t look like that of a senior in high school. “Fine.” She finally said, starting to get up and head for the door. She didn’t have anything else to say... she just was trying to figure out what was in the contents of that letter... and how many were possibly in that box.

riley chuckled before wrapping his arm around the girls shoulders. “come on – we have to do some food shopping and then head home to cook dinner.”

‘Walmart? Not my first choice for much of anything but I mean to each his own I guess” The boy didn’t pay much attention to the comment. Sure, it wasn’t his first choice to go but if that was what she preferred it really wasn’t his place to judge her. It wasn’t hard for Andy to coerce Josh back on the couch, her light pulling at his hand followed by an immediate response from him. In an instant, his knee was on the couch and one still on the floor. “You sure?” He asked, hand reaching to brush long locks of hair away from her face before he dipped in and caught her lips in a chaste kiss. He wasn’t really sure when things changed between them or what any of it really meant but they were young and dumb and details like that didn’t matter in moments like this. 

Truthfully, it wasn’t Andy’s first choice for anything either, but it was cheap and when she barely had twenty dollars to buy a pair of shoes with, it did the trick. Even if they fell apart every two months, she didn’t have the money to buy a nice pair. She couldn’t just go without work shoes for months on end to save up for a pair of nicer ones. She decided to drop that part of the conversation though, when Josh put his knee up on the couch and faced her again. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure.” She said with a smile, which only grew as he moved to brush the hair from her face. As he leaned in, she met him part of the way, her hand dropping his and moving up to wrap both her arms around his neck. 

“yeah.. bleachers? nobody’s around.” they could have a discussion without anyone bothering them. shawn lead the way towards them, taking a seat before deciding to lift his leg over and straddle the bench, as he turned his body towards hers and offered the girl his full attention. “i..” shawn figured just jumping right in was the best option here, but he’d never been that great at talking how he felt in general.. “this is tough for me,” he admitted, rubbing his hands on his faded jeans and looking down at the bleacher seat. “i dunno what to say, but i feel like i should..” he already wasn’t making sense, was he?

“Sure.” Andy said and followed him to the bleachers, looking out at the field for a moment as they sat down. She was hardly ever up there... usually she was on the field playing, or she was at work and couldn’t attend other teams’ games (as much as she wanted to). It was always interesting, seeing things from a different angle. “Me too.” She admitted and looked up at him awkwardly, also not sure what to say. “Listen...” she started a moment after he trailed off, “if you just want to forget that it happened, and move on, it’s fine. I won’t be offended or anything. I shouldn’t have kissed you without notice like that, it was dumb.”

“no.” he wasn’t going to play fair, probably ever. ethan wasn’t someone who could let himself be vulnerable to attacks. he was constantly, exhaustingly, on defense with the steel walls built high. this all in effort to make sure he clung to whatever sanity there was left, the kind that kept him grounded in reality and reasoned him down from whatever anger issues overcame. sometimes he couldn’t stop it, though. “it’s not your name, remember? you’re andy now so it doesn’t fucking matter,” he shot back, not budging from the box. though his guard slipped when it appeared meda was giving up and pulling away. somehow, even after this long, ethan was so programmed to simply blindly trust the girl in anything she said or did. “yeah, whatever,” he returned, petulantly. “you can leave now.”

“Hey, I’m down. It’s twenty-eighteen and everything is fluid or whatever” Like usual, Josh didn’t really know what he was talking about but he managed it in a charming manner rather than coming off as a brick of a boy. “No take backsies, that’s always been the rules, Andy” he laughed, glancing away as he saw her features change in response to his clear pining in the moment “Oh well then movie cancelled we’re heading to the game room” Without skipping a beat he jumped off the couch, quickly flicking the TV off before extending his hand out to her “Unless you had something else in mind?”

“Fair. It might be easier than I’m thinking, but I get most of my shoes from like... Walmart. It’s just faster.” And cheaper, she added in her head. but didn’t say it out loud. Josh didn’t have - or at least didn’t seem to have - any money problems, and she didn’t want to bother him with it. Plus, if people worried about her, it just took more time in the day, where she could be working or doing homework. “Don’t do thaaaat...” Andy whined as he started to get up from the couch. She looked up at him with a pout on her face and reached to take his hand, lightly tugging him back towards the couch. “We can do foosball later.”

Shawn could practically FEEL the girl’s hesitance radiating off her. It caused him to fall into a slower walk as he finished approaching her, pausing a good arms length away unconsciously. “I ah.. thought we should talk,” the boy said, rubbing the side of his neck and looking as guilty as he felt. It was in full force, especially under her stare. He felt like she could see everywhere Liv might have touched him. “Are ya busy?” He wondered if she would just write him off, say she was, because both of them had already admitted to each other they didn’t know what to do. Shit, he still didn’t know what to say or do.. All he knew was that he felt he should tell her, and that he was afraid she wouldn’t speak to him anymore because of it. Shawn didn’t have many people who seemed to care about him here, or that he cared about, and he wouldn’t be happy if Andy distanced away from him. But could he really stop her? He couldn’t force her to be his friend… “It’s important,” Shawn prompted, with these thoughts in mind. The longer it waited, the more estranged they’d become. He couldn’t let that happen.

Andy nodded slowly at the other’s words and crossed her arms, almost as a defense mechanism. She was massively uncomfortable with the situation, but she knew (from past experience) that just avoiding him wasn’t the best way to handle it. “Yeah, I agree.” She said in response, sighing a bit and looking around. “Do you want to find somewhere to sit, or just stay here?” She didn’t really mind either way, but they were sort of just at the edge of the field. “No not really. I have work in a couple hours and I have to do some homework before that... but it’s not like, urgent.” She explained, swallowing hard as she met his eyes. This was so strange to her - partially because it was so awkward, but also partially because she just didn’t know how she felt. She liked him, but she also liked Josh, and there was all the drama with Ethan... And it was the strangest feeling ever. They were all so different. 

“That’s a secret I’ll never tell- ex-oh-ex-oh” the boy teased, a chuckle rumbling through him as the two of them sunk into each other, something that had begun to happen more and more when the two of them were away from prying eyes. Not that he was complaining, he did enjoy her company, after all “Oh, so you’ve completely changed your mind now?” He questioned, head cocking so he could face her as the second part of the sentence left her mouth. Eyebrows raised playfully, eyes darted down to perfectly glossed lips before meeting her chocolatey gaze again and resisting the instant urge to kiss her “By other things you mean foosball, right? Because I don’t know if you can handle that humiliation again”

“Okay, gossip girl, I’ll challenge you next time I spot a pair of heels your size.” Andy teased, getting comfortable next to him. Similar things were running through her mind; they certainly seemed to fall in together when they were alone... it was no wonder his parents thought they were officially dating. “Oh, shush. Or I’ll change it back.” As his eyes darted to her lips, she felt a smile growing on her face, clearly smug about it. “Yes, that’s exactly what I meant. I want my revenge on you.” She said playfully, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

“I’ve never played fair in my life,” he said, not budging an inch. He splayed out like a starfish and did what he could to hide everything from her view and discourage her from grabbing – only it didn’t, and he felt her hand feeling around underneath his stomach. Ethan’s eyes met hers. “I care because it’s my stuff,” he said, his voice lowered and quiet, still holding onto the box like it was a lifeboat. It was private, it was too private. Even though they were years old, they were private and important and something he couldn’t have her knowing he even bothered to keep all this time. It would change everything between them, he just knew it would, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that. “They’re just stuff I wrote a long time ago and they’re not for anyone else to read,” he said, wanting to add ‘least of all you’ yet refrained. “You’re hurting me,” the boy suddenly said, lying but thought it might make her pull away.