its time to get silly

You’re crafty and tricky.

Dad had bloody heavy hands, used ‘em on me.

I grew up in the system. Bounced a couple homes.

You’re not gonna push me around.

I dropped out of school.

I snuck up to this sucker, took his stash and drove.

How dumb I was, twenty-one and way out of control!

She did a line right off my --

If it costs me my life, man, I’ll save my only friend.

As I lay here in my final nights, I try to have a laugh.

I didn’t win the game of life, but I’d give myself a pass.

Sometimes I drive and ignore the signs.

I'm not an asshole, but I don't care about getting caught.

You got no one to turn to, and people you owe. You’re a dope. 

This life is tough, man, and everybody knows.

I might indulge a little in this life, you never know.

I said “fuck it” long ago.

What is your play at the end of the day?

I make a livin' betting dog fights, darling. This is just a little scrap.

What happened to you? What happened to me? What happened to us?

I took your word for it 'cause you are so well-read.

You treat you like a temple. I treat me like a slave.

I've been fightin' it all my life.

I'm a father, I'm a fighter, I am tough. 

It’s not the working-for-peanuts that’s rough.

I'm outworking you but for a different coloured check.

I know there's no easy roads.

I got bad luck when it comes to parents.

I felt like a human barcode, programmed to hate mode.

I'm tired and I'm sick. You're a liar, full of shit.

You need not worry 'bout that hullabaloo.

Evil looms, darkness lurks! Safety in numbers!

Things are sad, they will get worse.

We’re encrypted, subscripted, soldiers of the brand: homo-lookalikes, a million-man marching band.

Shake my goddamn ole wrinkly hand!

I got this buzzin' in my ear... it's here for good I fear, my dear.

Don't wanna fuck this up man, I can't get this wrong.

I got these spots in my sights like I can't turn out the lights.

It's calm in my head as a high-speed chase.

Things are terrible here too. It's a fucking wreck. Like my life!

They're saying there was a murder.

I think that's cat piss in the corner. We don't even have a cat! Who pissed in here?!

Are you a stand user?

I'm pogging out! I'm pogging out!

Can I be a teenager for like five seconds?

Okay, Jesus Christ. I don't know what's going on here.

The fuck did you call me you wannabe Gem looking ass bitch?

Your card went in my EYE.

If you're cringe, then I'm fucking weirdchamp.

Bitch, you're in JAIL.

Oh, honey. The eyelash. Oh, Jesus. Can I fix it?

People be killin'. People be committing crimes, what can I say?

ARREST HER. YOU ARE A COP.

We don't have to fucking talk about this here. We don't have to do this.

The body was found right over here. In fact, you're standing on it.

I wish you would blow my noggin.

Is that a new term, "givin' me noggin"? "Use your noodle"?

She be using the left and right brain, you know what I'm fucking talking about? I be grinding to the center, call that shit brain-doggin'.

LET ME HAVE THIS. I'M A 25 YEAR OLD MAN. I'M SINGLE. I'M GAY.

You're over here simping a Kentucky Derby contestant, bitch.

I could not have been less prepared for a JPEG of a tiger.

Advanced Tomfoolery is what I majored in in college.

I'm all about trickle-clown economics.

[name], if you can hear this, you have to shit faster.

This is what I sound like when I jack off: [squeaky clown horn]

The circus is for everybody, large and small. Don't fucking judge me.

I know that you're very anxious right now, did you hear about that murder that happened? You know when someone got clobbered over the head and died, can you tell me about that?

It was funny. Laugh. Please don't call me cringe.

With movies, TV, and bowling, the three main forms of media, there is just too much competition.

You were born without a sense of humour. And a small penis, too, I bet.

I caught a peek of the crime. I watched it happen, I did nothing to stop it.

The swift hand of justice will surely kill this man.

I will take you to prison, you will become a shiv.

FBI just donated 3 dollars.

Fuck everything else, this monkey is the best.

Game over. Monkey killed you.

Did Diddy Kong knock me unconscious?

You look like a dollar store Bratz knock-off.

My lungs have kept me up for months.

Words just don't mean all that much.

This is just another show, I call it as I see. Average tricks don't work on me!

Is it too late for me?

The path is over-grown and I got a broken phone.

Should I get in bed with you?

I'm lookin' for a path, just like you.

I’m getting used to my own shoes.

Fuck this town! I'm going out to sea.

It’s you, the man with the cut off hands who knows better than to reach!

No mercy for the weak!

The ladder is rigged by these pigs in wigs, they'll take a hammer to your hands.

You can hide in plain sight if you simply have nothing to say.

There's a disease going 'round this whole town, it has everyone on their knees.

Seventeen years young, I lost my son.

Everything they tell you makes no difference to me.

Thirty years of hard work down a drain!

You aren't supposed to bury your kid.

God, why did you do this to me?

The burden I carry, I barely keep hid.

I just wanna drink twenty fucking beers!

Do you have some hope that you can lend?

I'm barely coping, it’s tiring to pretend.

I have a gaping fucking wound!

If there was one thing in this cold world I could have chosen not to lose, it was you.

I was the one who offered you a home.

I don’t have a son after all. I have a hand-biting sinner at our family dinner.

You tricked me out of my precious family home.

You fucking idiot, you fucking gambler! You’ll burn yourself right to the ground!

The world is mostly good, people hope and pray. Sometimes it just takes a while for it to look that way.

Will I ever change? A broken record can’t turn the page.

Little laughs and coping lies, I tell myself it's a disguise.

Today's the day that I'm gonna change. I'm gonna fucking change, find a way!

So my guard is up, can I let it down?

Snake! For this mission, you’re going to have to kiss me on the mouth.

No fat asses in Journey to the West? SAD. Well, there’s other asses.

Call me Earth the way I make that pussy quake.

I became trans by way of geological forces. Like a tectonic plate movement.

Having some of the worst poop ever.

Do you have a titty snake video on you?

My tits are so big because they’re filled with feminism.

I need to make you into a fucked up person.

They rejected me because they were afraid of my swag.

I mean this in the most loving way possible, but sometimes I want to be atomized when I hear something you say.

Your poor, poor eyebrows. They’re on fucking life support.

You, sir, have won the internet.

I can drink anti-freeze, captain!

Can we throw pipe bombs at royal families together?

You guys are always on about killing your dads, but what about killing your moms? #Feminism.

I showed you my neurotypical masking. Please hire me.

NEO LONG ISLAND IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE. YOU’RE IN A PICKLE NOW HEMORRHOID VIGILANTE.

I took Ambien and now I want to touch LEGO boobs.

LOL. It doesn’t even hurt that bad. Well, it does. I just don’t show pain. LOL.

I forgot what I was going to do because I got distracted by transgender gnomes.

My creative abilities are being suppressed. I want to make a website that will give the user a seizure, or diarrhoea.

I am beaming socialism and love into your mind.

That Wonka sure had a great idea for a nightmare factory of ironic punishments. I'm taking notes.

I should be customizable like a Sim. Only a five foot wide head would ease my bodily dysphoria.

What if I was radioactive, but instead of killing you, I just made you 1mm shorter and the effect grew exponentially?

How did I get so confused?

My path is totally askew. I tapped the karma bank ‘til I overdrew.

I thought I was just paying dues, next thing I know: interviewed!

I’ve been raged up and caged up in a screw loose zoo!

I’m pining for a second chance at the life I blew.

I don’t know a thing about you.

I’ve seen it all, I sleep under the lights. I got scars from the tar and bites from the night.

I’m fucked up, man, beyond belief. 

I can’t remember if I was just fucked up or abused.

A bullet is on it’s way to me.

I’m on my own, and I’m so alone.

Careers were never my closest friend.

I’ve always kinda wondered what that meant.

You sleep easy, despite the blood on your hands. You’re a yellow-bellied coward with their head in the sand.

I ain't the fella you wanna go to if you’re in a bind.

My dad would’ve disowned me.

I had to hide, I didn’t think I had a choice. 

Everyone is looking to everyone else and nobody’s doin’ anything.

I was totally bombarded by every inner voice.

What the fuck is your problem, man, would it kill you to smile?

I need to make it back home, my dad has suddenly died.

Fuck you world!

To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

You never met one of your grandpas, I never met one of mine.

It was pain, it was shock, it was way too soon.

Can we save our souls?

Winter is barren and lacking in light; the present is frozen but the future is bright.

It was hospital visits and watching your phone. It was knowing soon that your mom will be alone.

Well, life fucks with your head!

I'm looking for a brand new switch with hopes I can win big and get rich.

I want to see how high I can get up and not die!

In a race down a hole, you can only go low.

I'm under the covers, I'm under the bed.

I'm trying hard to stay composed, but I’m Ray Rice like, fully exposed!

Remember when Claire Redfield was in Super Smash Brothers Melee?

I have approximately fifteen percent comprehension as to what that means.

Everyone knows Skyrim came out on everybody’s birthday at the same time somehow.

Here’s my question as an avid gamer: when’s the part where I rim the sky?

Like this post if you were born in two-thousand-nothing.

I was about to say “Miyamoto’s butthole” so I’m glad I stopped.

Partition.org is where I get my hard-drive tips.

It’s a snow day and I’d love to play Bomberman 64 with you.

Friends don’t stalk each other.

I was cool and chill with you until, once again, you took your fist and hit me across the fucking face and slapped me off of a building.

I can eat with no head. I still have a throat hole.

Every zombie in here is spring-loaded with a Vine reference when you kill them.

I want everything in here except you to die.

Oh my God, [name] I’m a fucking accomplice! Why did you fucking do that?!

You sound like you’re laughing like you’re angry at me. Like your face is fucking pissed off and you’re laughing in my face.

Shoot him! Why are you running?! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?

He was going to try to propose to you! He was on his knee!

Oh, now I’m a potential customer you’re being all respectful!

THIS MAN EATS BULLETS LIKE FUCKIN’ MINTS!

You’re like Otis’s dad in Barnyard, waiting for the coyotes to come.

If this man pops up, I’m gonna jump really high in the air.

I cannot hear. I swear, I cannot hear!

What you’re looking for has been here the whole time… right in front of your eyes.

She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts. She’s cheer captain and I’m the bleachers.

You can’t eat ass cheeks that are concrete.

Oh my God, that hurt me! That hurt my physically, [name] you just did twenty points of psychic damage!

My dad sounds like that when he comes in in the middle of the night. He’s got big work boots.

Stop shooting my dad! 

My favourite cosplay that I never got to do for UNDERTALE was the stick that gets stepped on in the very beginning of the game.

Hey, what are you doing. What are you doing? Hey, hey, hey! Hey! STOP.

That’s Mr. X. He drives a Bugatti.

Finally, a fucking drink. ( The muse is sipping out of a gas nozzle. )

I hate cars! Fuck Henry Ford!

I’m so wet in the rain.

Do I think? No. That’s been the problem since the beginning.

This is a graveyard for poor people. Look at these fucking tombstones, they’re just sticks. They didn’t even bury those ones!

Hello, welcome to Intuition Graveyard where the job is yours.

Are you going to eat my legs?

My dad once said you should always try everything once. And if you try something twice, you’re a piece of shit.

You farted and shitted and now the house is on fire!

Didn’t you know that Resident Evil 2 spelled backwards is UNDERTALE 2?

Look at how fucking sopping wet this boy is.

So basically I’m monky?

You turned him into Nickelodeon Gak! He’s Nickelodeon slime at the Nickelodeon kid’s choice awards! What have you done?

Don’t meow at me.

Talk about a low-budget flight! No food or food?

Who just fucking broke my bones, dude?

Oh my God, that was all of my lecture papers! I put them in order!!

Sorry to disorganize your homework, lads.

What is that level called with the purple water? What is it fucking called with that Barney juice, dude? Stank-Ass Toilet Zone?

You should be in Mamma Mia! The ABBA musical. 

No? Did you just say no to me? I don’t feel like I’m being respected.

Something happened and I immediately shitted myself.

I earned this big boy with his large penis gun.

What would your muse’s fursona be?

If your muse could change their eye colour, would they?

If money was no object, what kind of fashion styles would your muse invest in?

If your muse could be granted any supernatural or elemental power of their choosing, what would they pick?

If your muse could quit their job and not have to worry about money, what would they do with the rest of their life?

If your muse could transform into an animal and back again, what one animal would they choose?

In order for the world to survive, your muse must kill their closest friend / lover. Will they do it?

How would your muse deal with a surprise visit from a person claiming to be their biological child?

If your muse was a character in Don’t Starve, what would their special survival perk be?

If your muse could learn any one skill instantly ( e.g. how to play the guitar, how to speak Japanese, how to cook ) what would they choose?

Your muse has the ability to completely destroy one thing from existence and all human memory. What do they pick?

If your muse could change their hair texture, would they?

If your muse died right now and transformed into a ghost, what would their unfinished business be? What task or chore would free their spirit?

For scarred / physically disabled muses, if they had the opportunity to have their wounds healed or limbs recovered by a supernatural force, would they take it? Why / why not?

If your muse could tame any animal in their world and have it live happily as a pet, what animal would they pick?

If your muse was teleported into the last video game their mun played, would they be able to survive?

Your muse has died and will be reincarnated. They won’t remember anything of their previous life, but they get to pick their new starting point. What are they born into?

I had a dream you told me I smelled kind of bad. 

I’m going to have sex while watching Pixels with Adam Sandler.

Your mom makes bread by sticking wheat together with duct tape.

Why do you have trauma?

Don’t go near it. It’ll blast you into Canada.

I am perfectly camouflaged against this brick wall mural advertisement for Charleston Chews.

I forgot you weren’t wearing a shirt and got jump-scared by your nipples!

Have you seen the Muppet with massive tits?

Okay, now I’m just going to try and kill as many people as possible.

I loathe to take human life, but this time, it’s necessary.

Why do pussies growl?

About to go to the top surgeon and have them put my tits back on me.

Hey, if you eat an entire thing of digestives, do you shit?

I’m being plagued with visions of men with fat asses.

You look like a small Victorian boy possessed by the spirit of SpongeBob, but I mean it in a nice way.

GIRL HELP. THERE’S NO HRT FOR GHOSTS.

Are the cars from Cars sexy?

No chairs here. Our asses can withstand the earth. 

Sorry I thought about breaking your spine.

I’m saving myself for divorce.

With great gun comes big boom.

Sometimes the side chick isn’t even a side chick. It’s Tien Shinhan from hit manga series Dragon Ball.

I saw two first graders fighting, so naturally I stepped in. They didn’t stand a chance against me.

Hurry the fuck up and give a quick honk on that bobo.

Do not distribute the waffle sandwich.

It’s a fucking video game.

We can’t all be heroes.

Well [name], this is a pretty open and shut case. We know you did it. We’ve got the knife you used to kill the victim. It’s got your finger prints on it. And your blood. And your spit… and your semen(?) We’ve got three witnesses who watched you do it. We’ve got a video of you stabbing the victim fifteen (15) times. We’ve got you walking into a police station saying: “I [full name], have committed a murder.”

If you’re thinking of talking your way out of this one, you’d better have a pretty good explanation.

Yep, just a normal day. Pushing my massive supply of uncut drugs onto addicted local school children.

Hi there, [name]! Not doing any stabbing today I see!

Sell me a dime, would you please?

Hell yeah! I’m gettin’ fucked up tonight~!

It’s the lack of stabbing that makes NoCrimesVille the kind of city I’m proud to live in.

Sorry if I look sad today… season 7 of Game of Thrones is out today… but I can’t afford HBO.

Let’s just navigate over here to thepiratebay.org/GoTs07e01-07. Oh, and we should also get you season 6, just for a recap. You know how complex the storyline is.

You like tentacles, [name]?

Well, let me explain how decentralized P2P works.

I’m doing a murder right now!!

Nobody gets away with crimes in my town.

Destiny claims yet another victim…

I heard you beat up twelve robbers at Sears!

Maybe you can help me. I’m in a tricky pickle right now.

Maybe some time in the slammer will sort your shit out.

After a hard day of making the world a better place, a nice cold one would sure hit the spot.

I think deep down… all of us are broken, in a way.

The real lesson here today, is: If you truly need to punish someone, let them go free.

He WILL stab you.

But you forgot one crucial thing: you killed a murderer. And that makes you responsible for all of the murders they committed.

Aspiring to anything will only get Keanu Reeves killed.

Animal Nature: Your muse is now an animal of the anon’s choosing! How will they manage their new, unique perspective on life?

Beast Within: The transformation begins at midnight. Suddenly struck by a raging aggression and bloodlust, how will your muse break the werewolf / vampire’s curse?

Y’know, Like Nyah: Your muse is now a catboy / catgirl / catperson. Whether this is a good or bad thing is up to them.

I Choose You!: Your muse is now a Pokémon! If anon does not choose a species, the mun gets to pick the Pokémon they think fits their muse best.

Muted: Your muse’s voice has been stolen! Without the gift of speech, how will they choose to communicate?

Up There: Your muse grows two feet taller. How’s the weather up there?

Down Here: Your muse shrinks two feet shorter. Good luck with the top shelf.

Merry Melody: Your muse is cursed to sing instead of speaking. Will anyone be able to take them seriously?

Sound of Silence: Your muse has been temporarily deafened after a foghorn prank.

Best Years: Your muse has regressed back to being a child! Will they wreak havoc on other muses, or are they a little goodie two-shoes?

Fade to Black: After an accident, your muse has been left temporarily blind. How will they navigate the world without the gift of sight?

Muse Swap: Your muse switches bodies with the last muse they interacted with! ( Or they switch with a muse of your choice, given permission. )

Love Potion: Your muse will fall uncontrollably in love with the next muse ( of same or similar age ) they interact with. 

Power Pandemonium. For muses without powers, they gain powers of the anon’s choice! For muses with powers, they either lose or swap their powers with the last muse they interacted with.

Open Wounds: An old scar on your muse has reopened as if completely fresh. Do they have the means to heal it up again, or will they lose themself to the pain?

No Filter: Your muse is cursed to say absolutely everything they’re thinking. Interior monologues are exterior monologues, now!

Truth Potion: Your muse can only speak in truths. Attempting to lie will only reveal deeper secrets!

Going Ghost!: Your muse has been transformed into a wall-shifting, high-flying ghost! Are they up for some spooky fun, or will they be scared out of their sanity?

Crumbling: Your muse is cracking and falling apart as if they are made of glass. How will they keep themself from falling to pieces?

Memory Lane: Amnesia with a twist. Your muse has been thrown back, mentally, to a traumatic event in their past. Will they be okay?

1. What is your muse’s gender? Is it a named identity, or more of a feeling they have? 2. Did your muse choose their name? What does it mean and why is it special to them? 3. Has your muse had different chosen names in the past? Are they considering a new one? 4. What pronouns does your muse use? 5. Would your muse be interested in using neopronouns? 6. For muses with multiple pronoun sets, do they have a fun or unique way of communicating their current, in-use pronouns? 7. How old was your muse when they first realized they were trans? What thought processes did they have, and did they accept themself right away? 8. Did anyone or anything influence their trans identity?  9. Does your muse have a community? Any trans friends? 10. Does your muse look up to any other trans people? 11. Does your muse own any trans-themed accessories or clothing? 12. What and/or who gives your muse gender envy? 13. What has being transgender taught your muse? 14. How has your muse’s appearance changed since they came out as trans? 15. For fluid muses, does their appearance change with their gender? 16. Does your muse like to attend pride? What are their favourite activities? 17. Has your muse’s identity affected other areas of their life? ( e.g. their job, their sexuality ) 18. Does your muse offer old clothes to trade with those of different identities? 19. Have any funny stories come out due to your muse being trans? 20. What is a positive experience your muse has had related to them being trans?

Add the tag “YES/NO” to opt in/out of these:

Why don’t you ctrl+c ctrl+v some bitches.

I broke my last laptop trying to download Meet the Robinsons.

Me and the boys only pee when we touch dicks.

A “fruit roll up” is when me and my homies make a blanket burrito to get cozy.

Logging into fucked up evil Facebook to play Harmville.

Stop threatening to kill me with appliances.

Girl help, I’m falling into the acid vat.

I’m not a shopping list... I’m a ghost!

*throws a beaker at you that is filled with a potion that makes you bald*

When I was a kid, I was afraid the guy next door would come in and take a crap on my bed.

I’m going to focus on your facetious use of the word “dude”.

The man asks about gay snakes and you tell him to die?

You will wish for my smell and you will die.

Baby, I’m about to be accused of regicide.

Died from eating some bad pussy.

If you hit me, I’m making a callout post.

Ma’am your vagina alright?

Give me my fucking fingers back, dickhead.

This in no way enriched my life! Thank you.

You kids wait right here. Papa is going to go buy some gender.

Did you just kill someone? That’s kind of epic.

Please explode and die.

There is something very sexy about divorce.

Fail husband from my cringe marriage.

So who’s the eeby and who’s the deeby?

Look at my fat LEGO ass.

Stop posting the cock gif!

In my opinion, piss and shit makes us more familiar with each other.

Woe is me, my ass is fat and I need two hundred dollars.

I’m literally going to get a restraining order.

I’m living deliciously and sexily.

I’m living sluttily and fatly. 

I heard you’re finally out as gay, wig.

Did I fucking ASK you to post a photo?

The best character is whatever that guy’s name was.

You look like you’re giving homosexuality one last try, but if you can’t find the man of your dreams, you’re going to retire to straighthood. 

You wish you were me, punk.

I feel like the white Eminem. 

No more tits! We’re trying to play Fall Guys!

Fuck anybody that knows about ctrl+z.

I am going to cry. I am going to sob.

I’m smart and I have huge meat.

Sorry for pooping. Didn’t mean that.

I take it back. I want to injure you for making me look at Arin Hanson.

Did I tell you about my My Little Pony fanfiction?

What if a GPS was a pony? Buck Around and Find Route. 

Greetings, Champion of Cyrodiil. Have you heard of My Little Pony?

Science is the best friendship anyone could hope for.

Friendship is hard.

Good news. I figured what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a morality core that kept me from writing MLP fanfiction.

Get comfortable while I boot up Microsoft Word. 

My OC’s cutie mark is going to be the quadratic formula. 

This is where you have to decide between your own needs or the needs of the people.

What is it that Jimmy Neutron said? “Boutta blast ass”?

What would your Smash trailer look like? Also, have you ever written MLP fanfiction?

We just don’t know if we’re ready to label things yet.

Will you just kiss in front of me please?

If you don’t go hog wild on each other right now, it’s not representation.

If a nob doesn’t get slobbed in the next fifteen seconds I’m gonna go fucking wild.

I screen-capped my tweet at 421 likes.

Unfortunately, it looks like you’re only going to have about two weeks to live.

If your friends don’t smile at you, they’ll be defeated by this stone.

I see you posting on the internet, “oh, feral energy. I need to catch rabies” all this other shit, y’know? I understand.

You’ll see the error of your ways.

How do I put myself off of Homestuck? How do I make sure that I have absolutely no motivation to read the rest of it?

Your eyes are bloodshot and your heart is empty. You have only eaten microwaved burritos for days.

I ain’t collecting taxes, I’m taking home clout. Twitch chat’s got my back, I have no doubt. 

Boomer [name], boomer [name], boomer [name]!

I wish I understood TikTok.

You’re only twenty-four and you sound like a fucking seventy-five year old man.

You’re watching those damneded cartoons and you be on that damn phone!

You sound like a Facebook dad who took his profile picture from a low angle while wearing sports shades in his car.

No, I don’t have an extended warranty on my car.

He definitely did it. Murder. At least once. Maybe twice.

Y’know what? I’ve actually decided he definitely stabbed a bitch. Absolutely! Probably in their sleep. Maybe ate them.

So much for dreams.

You’re like an old, old lady inside a giant himbo man.

A map? But that looks like… a portrait of my eyes!

It used to be booming here but now the only boomer is me.

You hear that? I’m not a boomer! Fuck yeah!

No, you’re definitely still a boomer. I can tell by the way you *sniffs* dress.

Did you just inhale my aura?

Let’s just say I was a nail and he was a drill.

Women, am I right?

What’s up with woman?!

I never say anything. I don’t talk. 

Wait, were you… were you… ho-ho-holding, ho-holding, ha-ha-ha, holding HANDS?

I summon you into the shadow realm. You’re in my possession now. 

I can see my father here…!

I’m gonna whip-snap you into nonexistence. You’re done for, whippersnapper! 

I hate the random little creaks and wobbles in this room.

You fucking know what you did.

Are you killable?

No, I don’t wanna turn on Sticky Keys! I wanna turn on “I want to live” keys!

THAT’S DIFFERENT IN A WORSE WAY! WHAT IS THAT THING?!

Honestly? This dude was more effective when he was just using his hands.

I am going to cause problems on purpose.

You shouldn’t compare people to others. That’s really rude. You’re gonna instil a lot of self-doubt and self esteem issues in me if you keep doing that, man.

I’m here for chicken nugget.

So, what did we learn? Don’t waste all of my fucking handgun ammo.

Please just know that I am doing my best.

I’m really stressed out. If you’re mean to me, I’ll cry.

Yeah, I knew it. I knew one of you had a case of “still being alive”. 

That’s your ultimate sickness, that you’re just not fucking dead.

I don’t know. I just, if you haven’t seen Grand Budapest Hotel I don’t know if we can really talk about film. I don’t expect your taste to be quite on the same level as mine.

Bitch. Back up.

I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I’ve used all your ammo on real small shit, not knowing that this was coming! 

I feel like you should take into account the fact that we are absolutely not prepared for this kind of an encounter.

Sorry for being a lesbian on main.

Oh, you’re naked and powerful! That’s how I’m trying to be.

I’m just a little guy! I’m just a little fella!