dont worry, i’m usually about to die

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

putting ketchup on fries is too permanent for me … i have to dip . i control the sauce

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

“mom coded” “sister coded” “wine aunt coded” what if she’s his friend instead. you’re actually allowed to be friends with women

literally real life though

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”

“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”

i just saw a post on reddit titled "the writer is cooking but the food doesn't agree with me" and it was about OP clicking off a fic because they don't like the direction it's going in. slightly different context but can we all be more like this reddit OP. i think "the writer is cooking but the food doesn't agree with me" should be the new "don't like don't read." dead doves may give you diarrhea but don't make that everyone else's problem.