“Juliet Banks, Followers Scout and Guide.
We’re going to set out in about an hour. Heading to the Grand Canyon and I’m in charge of keeping a small gaggle of doctors and scientists alive. Most of them aren’t too happy about an eighteen-year-old being in charge, but if they want to be on this trip, then they have to deal with it. It isn’t a bad gig though; I’m getting paid fairly well, and the Followers promised to keep an eye on my sisters and dad while I’m gone. I just hope that I can get something other than a couple dozen caps out of all of this. Maybe I’ll be able to bring some food back home. Who knows.
Gotta sign off now, I’m getting stares and I don’t want to deal with Edward glaring at me.”
“We’ve made it most of the way to the Canyon and we haven’t had many serious injuries. Worse we got were a couple of sore ankles and sunburns. At one point, we had to hole up in an old school and Edward found some pre-war history books. He’s been insufferable ever since because he’s obsessed with this guy named Julius Caeser and the things he did. I’ve just turned up the radio to tune him out. I don’t think there’s enough music in the world that could shut him up though...”
“We’ve picked up a straggler now, and I’m not too sure what to think about him. His name is Joshua and he’s a new cannanite. The only reason we took him on was that he’s a decent enough translator and I'd rather have someone helping to keep us alive. He’s pleasant enough to be around but he’s staring at me like I’m a three headed brahamin. Maybe new cannanite women don’t curse like I do or act like I do, or even it’s just another thing about me being the youngest here.
No matter, it’s just nice to have someone to keep Edward busy while I’m leading.”
“He’s been staring at me. I don’t think that he knows that I know. He stares at me like I’m gonna explode at any moment.”
“After meeting with our third tribe, I’ve become more than grateful for Joshua’s presence. Edward nearly got us killed with his usually bullshit but before things got very bad, Joshua stepped in and calmed them down. Half tempted just to make him our primary translator, but if I do that – then I’m gonna have deal with more bitch fits.
We’ve set up our camp close to the ridge and when I set out my things, I found a bible tucked in my pack. I don’t know exactly how he managed to get it in my bag, but Joshua looked all too satisfied with himself when I pulled it out. While I could have just thrown it back at him and told him to never do it again, I didn’t.
I...He’s being nice in his weird way. As we’ve been traveling, he’s been telling biblical stories just to fill the quiet. Admittedly, I was interested in the stories, so I kept the bible. I’ve been looking through it as we’ve been sitting around the fire. It’s old and annotated...just kind of well loved. Reminded me of the books kept in the Followers library.
I’ll have to read it more when I don’t have to keep these dumbasses from stumbling into a rad scorpion nest.”
“I swear to the clouds in the sky and the sun in the fucking sky – this trip is cursed. It feels like every step we take goes wrong. From Bill nearly stumbling off the path when he wasn’t looking, to Edward insisting that I couldn’t have known what path to take and me nearly breaking his nose in turn. The only reason I didn’t was because Bill and Joshua separated the two of us.
We’ve finally made it into the canyon and we’re camping by the water.
One of the only bright spots on our way down into the canyon was meeting with some tribals who shared some of their own charms and even their weapons with us. The other bright spot was that for some time, I read the bible. In the midst of my reading, Joshua joined me and he didn’t say really anything.
Just sort of sat there with me for a while as I read. Until he put his hand on mine, stopping me and asked which story called me the most.
Esther. The one that called to me the most was Esther.
He seemed pleased with that. He smiled at me, and I swear I felt my stomach leap into my throat. Why does he make me feel like this?”
“We haven’t made it very far as it’s been pissing down rain. I got caught in the rain and I feel awful. Bill swears I’ve got a cold, but I don’t know. However, I’m dealing with two mother hens who won’t let me get up and do anything for myself. Bill and Joshua mean well but god damn it, I can feed and care for myself.
Edward doesn’t give a shit that I’m sick or I think he doesn’t give a shit. Before I was sectioned off to the back part of the camp, he was telling me about roman myths. He even called me like Diana but now he’s been just glaring at me for a good hour. It isn’t my choice to stop so I don’t know why he’s being so bitchy with me. There’s at least one bright side to my potential cold – Joshua’s sat with me and read from the bible. Said that it’d help “soothe my mind.” While I rolled my eyes under my blanket, it was nice.”
“Do you have anyone waiting for you at home, Juliet?”
“Uh, well...my dad and three older sisters but that’s about it. No one particularly special if that’s what you’re asking about, what about you?”
“Ah, well, I’ve got my brother and sister, as well as my mother.”
“No, I intended to complete my mission before I was married. I thought it would be best this way.”
“Mhm. Interesting – wouldn't have thought that.”
“Are you inquiring because you’re interested?”
“Ahahaha, uh nah, I don’t...no I was just curious given the stories I’ve heard about New Cannanites. Your siblings, are they older..younger?”
“I am the oldest of my siblings, though my brother is close in age to myself. I think my sister might like you.”
“I think I might like to meet her...”
“I punched Edward in the face.
In my defense, he deserved it.
You may ask, Juliet – why’d you punch one of the two people you were hired to protect. I’m glad you asked because this morning as I was looking over the two paths we could take out of the canyon – he decided to charge forward. Mind you, I had warned them that both were unstable in their own ways and if we weren’t careful, we could go tumbling into the water below.
Of course, brahamin headed Edward decided that I was taking too long to look over our paths and he charged forward. Thank god that Joshua was riding my ass like my own personal shadow because if he wasn’t there then Edward would have been a red smear on the ground.
We got into a screaming match and I swung on him. I nearly broke his nose...the only reason I didn’t was because Bill pulled me back. I kinda wish I broke his nose because maybe he’d actually learn something. Other than me punching him – we've met with a tribe that wasn’t doing too well. Something about a war going on between local tribes and that needed to be careful when traveling.
Something hilarious happened when we were speaking with the tribe elders. One of the women pointed at me and asked something that sent Joshua red in the ears. Apparently, she asked if I was his wife – only because...get this – our shadows were intertwined. Something that doesn’t happen unless one is married or meant for each other.
At that...I think I went as red as he was. But now, as I’m thinking about it more....I just...god damn it my heart is racing at the thought. I need to get my head on straight. Can’t let a stupid crush distract me.”
I should have been paying more attention, but we got ambushed. I got hit and my chest hurts like a bitch. I don’t know if I broke a rib or I’m just bruised. For all the shit that I’ve given Edward, he shoved me out of the way and kept a club from going at my head. It’s good to know that even when it comes down to it, Bill’s even willing to fight. We came out of the ambushed with a few cuts and bruises. I got the worst of it and again, Joshua and Bill hung around like I was gonna explode if I breathed wrong.
Damn, I know I got sick but I can handle a hit to the chest.
I’m currently under about three blankets and I’m propped by the fire. Since I’ve been forbidden to move, Edward’s been by my side oddly enough. He didn’t say much to me. Just sat and watched as I laid there. I don’t know if he thought I was gonna die or not, but we sat together in silence.
It took me until now to realize the look he was giving me. Hard to explain though it’s the kind of look you give to a creature with a lame leg. Like you’re debating if it’s worth letting them heal so they can continue their work. Or if you should kill it and put it out of it’s misery.
I think he was debating on killing me, and I hope that I passed his test.
We’re trying to figure out what we can do now. That if we should just turn back and head back to the Boneyard or to see if we can just push on towards Ogden. I don’t know which direction to go...all I know is that I feel exhausted and I don’t want to think about it much more.”
“By the words of our good doctor, I’ve got a broken rib. It makes sense. Every time I breathe – I feel like I’m being stomped on. I can’t really move well, so Joshua’s taken my pack from me and Edward was kind enough to keep me walking. He wasn’t too happy about me being dosed with the little bit of med-x we had on us. We nearly got into another screaming match about me leading while he considered me to be “drugged out”. Mind you, I was fully aware of where I was and where we were going. I wasn’t going to complain though about him finally pulling his weight. Truthfully, I think he was just testing me to see if he’d be able to take leadership from me.
For a majority of our walk, I had Edward with an iron grip on my pants and only the occasional bickering over who was right. For all of this, it seems to have netted me a new name from him,
I am no longer “That Kid” (I’m two years younger than he is) or “Diana” or even “That Tribal.” (Mind you, I am not really a tribal, my dad is. I was raised in the NCR same as Edward.)
I have a new name. It’s Bellona. I dunno if it’s supposed to be good or bad, but he isn’t glaring as hard now. Our camp is halfway into a cave where we had to clear out of crickets. It’s a nice place and we should be safe enough here in case anyone nearby finds our tracks. Bill has demanded that I don’t push myself too hard tonight, so I’m just perched up with Joshua’s bible and just paging through while they debate what to do.
Don’t like it when they do this. Just because I’m hurt, doesn’t mean that I can’t contribute to our plans. I’ll bite my tongue for now. No use in starting a fight when everything feels like it’s on an edge about ready to fall off.”
“He kissed me last night.”
“I’ve spent a majority of the last two days trying to avoid what happened but the more that I try to avoid thinking about it, the more I just obsess over it. So, I’ve gotta just say it out loud but I couldn’t do it around the others. I told them that I was gonna go take a bath up stream and I didn’t want to be bothered. It’s only a small little lie, but I am actually bathing – but also just talking.
So what happened was that I was in my bedding cocoon, propped up and surveying my shitty little kingdom of exhausted men who were looking at me like I was the crazy one. Instead of focusing on them and the fact that I swear Edward was somehow glaring at me harder than before,I turned to Joshua’s bible.
I was in the midst of the song of Solomon when he joined me. Without thinking about it too much, I had started to lean into him. I thought he would have said something about it...that he would have pushed me away but he didn’t. He just let me lay on him as I read. He’s solid and sturdy and in that moment, I felt safe. I hadn’t realized how on edge I had been until he held me close and, in his arms, I felt safe.
Even with us having traveled for so long together, he smelled good. He smelled like the forest and the campfire. We sat wrapped up together in silence for a long while, being terrible careful of my broken rib and reading through these awfully romantic verses. I made it to; “His mouth is most sweet, yes, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend.”
I remember just reading it to myself softly, tracing under each word with the tip of my finger. I felt his breath on my ear and I swore I heard him saying the line too.
Then I just sorta looked up at him and then he looked at me and...it happened. I don’t know how else to describe it. A kiss is supposed to be a good thing, right? It wasn’t the first kiss I had. Of course I’ve kissed boys back home, but they weren’t like him. The kiss wasn’t unwelcomed, I just didn’t expect it.
It was a quick and messy kind of kiss and when I pulled away, he was all red in the face. We just stared at each other for a painfully long time. Every bit of me wanted to run when I looked at him. My chest felt tight in the same way when I stare down a yao guai. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, and I so desperately wanted him to explain why he did that. Why he kissed me out of the blue and then why he was looking at me like I was...wrong.
Just as quickly as it all happened – he got up and headed back to his bedroll with just a mutter of; “Sorry.”
Did I fuck up? Why was he sorry that he kissed me? The more that I think about it – the more I just dig myself into a deeper hole. Do I talk to him about it? Do I just pretend it never happened? God damn it – maybe I just need to put all of this out of my head. I don’t need this to make me fuck up. When I get to the other side of this job, I should just sign on with the Followers full time. It’d provide better pay than taking up whatever caravan jobs came through town or I could even sign on with the NCRA. I don’t know. I just hope that I can get out of here in one piece.”
“We’ve been kidnapped, I think – I'm not too sure.
We were meeting with one of the last few tribes before heading back to the NCR. Joshua was doing this translation thing, and I was trying to figure out how to best make it to a camp site when it happened. Their warrior grabbed us, and it all happened in a flash. They took us prisoner, and we’ve been kept in this camp for the past two weeks. The only reason I’m even able to record is because I snuck my pip-boy back during one of the many attacks that’s happened.
We’ve been debating what we should do. Bill and I are of the opinion that we should find a way to sneak away. There’s a pass that’ll be a bit narrow to get through but it should get us far enough away from all of this that we can just go home.
Edward is insisting that we stay. He hasn’t really given a good enough reason for us to stay other than him just wanting us to stay.
Would it be so bad if I left on my own? I know that I could probably make it out on my own, but I don’t want to leave the others here. So, we’re sitting and waiting to see what we can do because we can’t fight our way out of here. We’d get free of the Blackfoot but who else would we face out there?
I can only pray that we’re gonna be okay.
Ellie, if you’re listening to this, I’m sorry if I didn’t make it back. Don’t tell the others or Dad what happened to me.”
“You know, there has been very few times in my life that I’ve been terrified. The first time I remember being truly scared for my life was when I went hunting with my dad for the first time. We nearly came face to face with a death claw and the only reason I made it out of that was due to something else drawing it’s attention away from us.
Right now, it feels like I’m staring down that deathclaw again. This time though...it so much worse than that. We’re still with the Blackfoot and things weren’t looking good for them...and us by proxy. Edward decided that’s when he should step in. He and Joshua have been organizing them – making them into fighters. I think this is the most I’ve ever seen Edward smile.
He’s put himself in charge and they need him, so he’s delighted. I don’t know what to think about this all.
Bill and I have tried to object to this. We didn’t need to do this but our words fell on deaf ears. So while Joshua and Edward have been guiding and instructing them, Bill and I are still “hostages”. We aren’t bound or kept to one spot but we know that they’re watching us.
One time though, I tried to leave. I nearly made it out of camp but Edward spotted me. He grabbed by my arm and he dragged me back to my tent, telling me that I'm not allowed to leave. That “women aren’t permitted on the battlefield”. While I would have squirmed and fought harder against him, I realized that I was horribly outnumbered. To everyone around me, I was the pipsqueak scout that was of no use to them and Edward was their savior.
If I swung on him like I did before -
No, I’m not gonna think about what could have happened to me.
I tried to plead with Joshua. Nearly begged on my hands and knees for him to look the other way. That he could let Bill and I go and no one needed to know. The kind missionary who loaned me his bible, who made sure that I didn’t push myself too hard and the man who kissed me wasn’t there.
He just told me that it was God’s will that we stayed with them for this moment.
If this truly is god’s will then what did I do to deserve this?”
