Roman Singing Club

always making rhymes ‘bout my girl corinna

my style’s like catullus but the verse is thinner

i wish her husband’d die, wish he’d choke on a bone

so I could have her waiting when I get myself home

————————————— 

cupid keeps me rapping and singing my song

I tried to write on war, but the lines were too long

cause when I started singing 'bout arms and a man

cupid stole a foot and he changed up my plan

my verse it got crippled, my verse it got lame

and all them dactylic poets thought it was a shame

but I cleaned up my verse and I dirtied up my act

and if you see me at a temple, meet me round the back

——————————————-

I’m the master of love, error et carmen

if you’re looking for the ladies let me be your garmin –

say you’re at the circus observing a race

and right there beside you’s the most stunning face

well lean over real gentle and whisper real low

you got something in your lap- I just thought you should know

and maybe there’s dust there or maybe there’s not

instead of going to jail, you get exiled to Scythia

passing Go represents the bribes you collect every election season

instead of owning property on city blocks, you own land in various provinces

Boardwalk and Park Place ==> Egypt and Syria

Baltic and Mediterranean ==> Britannia Prima and Britannia Secunda

instead of houses and hotels, villae and latifundia

instead of railroads, just roads 

water works ==> bathhouse

electric company ==> amphitheater 

free parking ==> forum

income tax ==> wealth tax

re-skinned Chance and Community Chest cards:

“You have been elected Aedile – pay each player 50 denarii”

“Get out of Exile Free”

“Saturnalia Fund Matures – Collect 100 denarii”

“Greek Theater Night – collect 50 denarii from every player for opening night seats”

“Land Tax Refund – collect 20 denarii”

greek names: this is my son, demosthenes son of speusippus, the son of aristarchus, the son of ariston, the son of arion, the son of glaucon, great-great-great-great grandson of zeus

Impetus Suecicus minus prosperus erat

The Swedish attack was less successful