Find me a muse...

Fun fact: Ross handing the lamp to Chandler wasn’t scripted. David Schwimmer just randomly handed it to Matthew Perry. Matthew’s reaction is one hundred percent genuine.

That’s even better

we’re starving, daryn

My husband just referred to sand as heterosexual glitter

Do y'all remember being a kid and trying to read in the car while it was dark outside and your parents wouldn’t let you turn on the light so you would try to grab snatches of sentences when you passed by street lights

Alternatively, a mother: Just wait until you have kids :)

Honestly the two worst kinds of people ever oh yeah and “wait until you’re my age” the fucking three horsemen of undermining your pain

what about the fourth horseman of “what about all those starving orphans in africa”

“Not as tired as our troops!”: War “Just wait until you have kids”: Pestilence “Wait until you’re my age”: Death “What about all the starving kids in Africa?”: Famine

That’s…. surprisingly accurate.

the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu

These made me feel better

what the fuck why haven’t i heard the full version to any of these 

I’ve always felt like these were cut down on purpose.

I really like these phrases and plan on spreading this knowledge.

The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I want to make designs out of these.

Funny how all the half-finished ones encourage uniformity and upholding the status-quo, while the complete proverbs encourage like…living exciting, eclectic lives driven by choice and personal passion.

NICE

The legendary thread is back

Why the fuck would you go big when u can go home