The One True Goblin

I’m also celebrating your dogs birthday

celebrating tumblr user heartseeker’s dog’s birthday on the fourth everyone

Heartseeker’s dog is 5 this year, if I’ve done the math correctly!

idk if anyone else has seen the surge of memes making fun of cave divers recently. there was a comment on one that was like "cave divers with 4 kids, 2 degrees, a loving wife and a huge house when they learn that Satan's Sphincter has a 0% survival rate" it had me crying laughing

You'd think "oh, well they're rich dipshits with no training who pulled a Stockton Rush, IE: did something everyone told them not to and then died" but nope, 90% of cave diving stories are like "Johnny Wetsuit had 5000 hours diving experience, a doctorate in Cave Diveology from the most prestigious university in the world, was trained to swim by literal navy seals, was part dolphin and had the power of echo-location, God himself contacted him to let him know the conditions in Drowning Idiot Cave were going to be perfectly safe for cave diving, so he went Cave Diving, made one tiny mistake, and then he got stuck and drowned to death."

the snirker

ripleys agree to disagree

that is an excellent point. I will consider it deeply as I make little mud replicas of you and kick them to smithereens

“the term mpreg is inherently transphobic because pregnancy is gender neutral” I hate to tell you this but in the pregnancy fetish fanfiction community they also use the term fpreg

there are -pregs you wouldn’t even dream of

#mydinnerslab

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest