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jowls are normal double chin is normal stretch marks are normal armpit fat is normal. none of the things that tiktok and instagram are telling you to change are things you need to even consider changing. you can have a normal body, it will be okay

My favorite thing about bugs is there will always be one you've never seen before

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

if you aren't best friends with your lover and a little bit in love with all your friends than what's the fucking point

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

but above all, one must not concern oneself with the opinions of people who censor the word fuck

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

Every time an author reassures readers that the smut is skippable I sigh a disappointed sigh. This is not a reassurance. Why would anybody who likes smut want to read smut that was only included as an afterthought and has no impact on the narrative? Insulting. Just don't write it at all if you're not going to make it matter.

Imagine how bad that first post-nut clarity hits for a freshly married mormon

Many people forget when writing bdsm that the dom also wants to get a good grade in dom. And is trying so hard and is often nervous about it.

as it gets warmer let's all remember the two most beautiful accessories a girl can have this summer are hairy legs and a bunch of bruises from bangin around