I Made This At 1 A.M.

MY FRAGILE HEART

😩💜

If I ever not reblog this assume I’m dead

why is soil rich and im not

apps that shut off your music when you open them just how fucking important do you think you are

YESSSSSSSSSSSSs

ppl w curly hair are so important

Thanks!

ok but when u realize you have your partners tattoo and yours never shows up on them

THAT LAST ONE IS NOT NICE

It’s slightly less horrifying when you remember that she’s Elastigirl so her body is allowed to stretch like that. 

The comment that saved the comic

i envy people who can go to sleep seconds after closing their eyes

If anyone ever tells you you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. 

there is a difference between people who are smart and people who get good grades

I’ll insult moms everywhere. Fight me Pam.

Fuck you, Barbara 

You want to do this now, Helen?

Oh it is on Brenda

Eight o clock after the PTA meeting, Joan

Uhm, my kids will be going to bed at 8, Sandy, because unlike SOME mothers I put my children to bed at a responsible time!

Don’t you bring my kids into this, Janet

You’re right Sandy, we shouldn’t bring your C- average kids into this. We should, however, bring your 2013 Honda Odyssey that reeks of failure and cigarettes from your midnight affairs with the mail man.

At least I have a man touching me, unlike SOMEONE I know. When was the last time Frank so much as looked at you, Jackie?

C-Carol, you’ve gone t-t-too far!

NONE OF YOU ARE INVITED TO THE CASSEROLE POTLUCK! That includes you, Cynthia…

God this is magical