Where do I go from here?

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

OH MY GOD MY CATS HAVE FANART

I saw an otter briefly hop on top of a babirusa at the zoo and when the stranger standing next to me heard my camera shutter click he turned to me with this look of immense relief, put his hand to his chest, and said in a dead serious tone “oh thank christ someone caught that on film”

Trying to sleep during a heatwave is a great reminder that all oil executives need to die painful painful deaths

good suggestion

my favorite thing about navigating fanfiction is finding a really good one and being all “oh boy this was good, I hope they have more!” and literally every other story they’ve ever written was for like Miami Vice 

#a lot of the time this happens because someone in their 40’s got into 1 new thing and threw a fic at it before resuming business as usual#like sorry gang they’re not a youth who’s weirdly into your mom’s shows they’re your mom who played genshin impact

I know we make jokes about the proverbial asexual pervert who has written hundreds of thousands of words of smut on ao3, but also shoutout to the aces who aren’t perverts. to the aces who skip the sex scenes and wince at sex jokes and awkwardly leave the conversation when your friends start talking about sex. your boundaries aren’t childish and fuck anyone who says otherwise.