Uhhhhhhh

yes I DO live under a rock and her name is the Moon and she is always smiling but she teaches me nothing

...........................

she sauce on my scrod till i'm a New Man

EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER

its easy to be sucked up by the vacuum cleaner if you aren't careful

my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”

im just someones weird sister

girls go to college to get a degree in a program that they were once excited for but have since had all the enjoyment sucked out of it and is no longer a baseline requirement in an increasingly competitive and demanding workforce

and boys go to jupiter to get on the compupiter

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything