can you maybe not use the word queer. you probably know but it's a slut and also does it hurt you to actually use words like gay, bi/pan etc??
To you and anyone else who questions my use of the word queer, and to those who use the word queer for themselves and can find support in this:
this is lengthy, so bear with me. I’m only going to say it once
I have nothing against the words gay, bi/pan, etc. I use bisexual for myself, and support the words people use for themselves. I will not use queer to describe anyone who doesn’t identify with it, and I will not begrudge anyone who avoids my blog because of their discomfort with the word. If you need to block, unfollow, or blacklist me because of this, go right ahead, take care of yourself.
However, I will continue to use it as a personal identifier, and in my writing.
Queer can be used as a slur, as a form of violence. However, as you might know, it is also largely reclaimed. From activism slogans such as “we’re here, we’re queer, we’re not going anywhere” to the academic field of “queer studies” (predominantly contributed to by people in the community), to personal identification, the word is useful and empowering. This is nothing new or tumblr exclusive; it’s deeply woven into our history.
It’s important to consider the word in context. My experiences are not universal; nor are yours. In fact, there can be regional differences in how the word is used. However, terms like “gay” have absolutely be said in a derogatory way, as a means of violence, and yet can also be reclaimed and empowering. Think about when people say “that’s so gay” and mean “that’s so stupid,” vs. when gay people use it as a celebration of who they are.
When I use ‘queer’ it is as an identifier and a celebration, not a slur. It is also a broad umbrella term that allows me to discuss many facets of identity at once. The word also makes me feel connected to my history and the queer academia I study.
Pushback against ‘queer’ can also come from Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists (TERFs) who are not and have never been a part of my community. TERFs attack the word queer as it’s predominantly used by trans/nb/bi/pan/ace/aro, etc. folk, and these are groups TERFs target through violent gatekeeping. Using queer is a very small way to position myself against TERFs and with members of the community who use the term.
Often, TERFs spread this rhetoric to folks just discovering their sexuality, who may not yet understand different identities or much queer history.
This is certainly not the only reason to be uncomfortable with the word, but I do urge you to take a hard look at why the word bothers you, and what you are helping by policing how people describe themselves and fictional characters.
There are informative posts on this subject in my slurs, queer discourse, and queer history tags.
TL:DR: While I recognize that everyone has different experiences with the word, I will not stop using the word queer in my writing and my personal identification.
Because this can invite a lot of Discourse, I am not accepting further anons on the subject at this time, and will not answer them here. Questions asked in good faith off anon will be answered privately.
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