If you persevere, in time you will have an entirely different problem – not that life is meaningless, but rather that life has almost too much meaning. As the scales fall from your eyes the world rushes into focus, presenting itself with a kind of vibrational eloquence that can, at first, be almost overwhelming. Everything shimmers, everything clarifies, everything wrestles for your attention. Trees feel super-real, their roots plunged into the earth, their branches stretching to the sky, birds are flesh and blood souls, fragile with life, the sky unfolds and rolls, the ocean crashes, people fascinate, books are beautiful, children are whirling dynamos of chaos, dogs bark and cats meow, flowers shout, your neighbour glows, and God runs like a helix through all things. The world awaits you, humming with meaning. You are alive with potential. You are not dead.
And in that first post-heroin spring, my ageless dope body was gone. I’d traded it for a body that was like an empty hive. In the spring the missing swarms flew back through the sunset to fill it up again. [...] Not that I missed the dope body. I was sick of having the kind of problems that demons have—sick to death—but the scale of the human problem was breathtaking. It took my breath away, standing in front of those colossal sunsets. Red and purple. The memory of bedtime when I was four coming back in that color. The memory of my first kiss coming back. The way my bedroom smelled when I was ten and I was sick.
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lacey eden. lacey is the only woman to ever win four D1 hockey national titles (all with wisco and three with laila), yet she's suffered more than anyone in the history of the world. one of the last cuts for team USA for the 2022 and 2026 olympics, left out of the patty kaz top three this year, overlooked in favor of her teammates, constantly tormented by laila and kk's antics. that she still loves laila and only occasionally tries to subliminally trick her into liking taylor swift is testament to her strength of character. she's going to play in the PWHL next season.
is she normal about laila? mostly yes, other than that time she posted a tiktok zooming in on the sweat on laila's bare shoulders after they did hot pilates together.
laney potter. one of laila's teammates at the university of wisconsin. laney has gone triple platinum in MY household for never quite being as good as everyone thought she would be, and kind of going psycho on the ice sometimes, and having an elite aux, and being incredibly easily ragebaited about the pittsburgh penguins, and slashing tessa jannecke in the head, and the tone of voice in which she said, "can she even drive right now?" in the background of a tiktok live when lacey drunkenly kept insisting she was going to drive her brother to the airport. she'll be a senior this upcoming season and i very much hope she declares for the PWHL draft next year because i think she would be a delight in pro hockey.
is she normal about laila? no, she's a major offender of nervously asking everyone, "WHERE'S LAILA?" whenever laila is not there, second only to kk. she's also on record as very seriously saying that she thinks laila is the funniest person in the world.
hannah halverson. she plays for the university of wisconsin with laila. she's two years younger and is one of the younger girlies that laila and kk seem to have kind of adopted. laila, hannah, laney, and ava call themselves the stick taping squad and tape their sticks on the bench before every game together.
is she normal about laila? well, she let laila pretend to walk her like a dog. so you tell me.
anna wilgren. anna played for a year with laila on the badgers; she now plays for the seattle torrent. if laila gets drafted to seattle, they'll be reunited and will probably be the top D pairing.
is she normal about laila? one time laila took of all her clothes and starting whipping anna with them while they were wrestling, and not to editorialize, but it seems like it might be kind of hard to be normal about laila after that.
it's come to my attention that people are having trouble distinguishing between laila's gf, laila's bestgirlbrotherfriend, laila's teammate who she's always carrying around, and laila's many other blondes, so i did some service journalism.
kk harvey. i feel like if you're reading this, you don't really need me to explain who kk is nor what her relationship to laila is, because you already know that they are Brothers, who are girls, but of course also "bestfriends" who [infinity emoji] [heart emoji] [interracial handshake emoji] each other.
is she normal about laila? obviously not.
chloe baker. chloe was the university of wisconsin's third-string goaltender for the same four years that laila was there. she and laila and kk are really close friends. because she was clearly never pursuing hockey professionally, she had a more normal life at wisco than many of her her teammates, and she made a lot of non-athlete friends, including one who would eventually become laila's girlfriend.
is she normal about laila? no, not even a little bit. i think she's straight but she and laila had something extremely weird and gay and fake-flirty going on for a minute there. they made a heated rivalry reenactment tiktok and laila used to carry chloe all the time and then she posted a video of laila picking her up captioned "who needs a boy when i have laila" and the thigh grab.
chloe's best friend clara, who is now laila's girlfriend, knew laila casually through chloe for a while. based on insta, they seem to have gotten closer or started dating during or right after they both went on chloe's birthday trip to chicago last summer. kk either wasn't invited or didn't come on the trip. there's something very compelling about everything changing when kk wasn't there, and there's something very compelling about laila wrapping up her dumb fake gay bullshit with chloe to actually date her best friend instead, and there's something very compelling about that one tiktok live where laila and chloe are whispering to each other in the backseat of kk's car and kk is pretending to joke about being excluded but is actually clearly for real upset at being left out. what is laila doing with these three!!
clara. laila's gf, chloe's best friend, and bandit edwards-harvey the cat's stepmommy. she does not play hockey and met chloe in class (they share a major). she went to to olympics to support laila.
is she normal about laila? no, but she's not normal in a normal way, because she is dating laila. she is perhaps the only one who is allowed to act the way she does.
kirsten simms. laila's long-time teammate who went to boarding school with her (and kk), and then also played on the badgers for all four years with her and the olympics in 2026 with her. she will play in the PWHL next year. i am also legally obligated to report that she is the most clutch player of all time and has a very hot girlfriend.
is she normal about laila? yes, she loves laila down but is probably more or less the most normal of laila's blondes, using phrases such as "like a sister to me" instead of "brooooooo [gif of a fox doing the scuba] you're pretty good at hockey ig." laila has repaid simms for these many years of sisterly love and support by sometimes posting pics of herself and kk to insta with simms cropped out.
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no but genuinely it kills me that laila and kk have decided that the only term suitable enough to quantify their very deep and expansive love for each other given that they cannot date...for whatever reason. is Brothers
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