i dont care if Monday's lit. Tuesday Wednesday touch my clit. Thursday i don't give a shit. it's Friday I'm in love

guy who watches looney tunes and gets scared and goes "what the fuck that's so messed up"

you cannot be putting two white guys with the same haircolor in the same movie how am i fuckin supposed to tell whos who what is this spot the difference

If i was John green I would've been like ya i love the taste of cock what about it . And everyone wldve called me a gay icon and stuff and millions of my books would've been sold and my brother wouldntve become more famous than me because I wldve been the guy who embraced the cock and balls monologue and not been a pussy bitch about it just saying btw

The fact that yogurts alive makes it better #girl

Capitalism and communism are both false idols

if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it

life hack: do ur readings and go to class