random incorrect quotes

Izuku: You know how you say that I’m not harsh enough?

Aizawa: Yes.

Izuku: Well, they royally made me mad last week, so I made a test where every answer was C.

Aizawa:…And what did you get?

Izuku: The most panicked and confused faces out of 20 students.

Kong : Bonjour Goji! voulez-vous coucher avec moi? *smirks*

Godzilla : No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Jason : no bro. trust me. I have the leg strength of a fucking orca whale

Tim : whales don't have legs. idiot

Damian : you honestly expect me to act like a human being ? I'm wearing a turtleneck

Bruce : what you need to start working on is your emotional control, Jason

Jason : get hit by a car

Damian : you are SO wrong on SO many levels, Drake. enemies to lovers is only a good concept if they're gay. if I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other I'd just go eat dinner with my parents

Tim : isn't that the knife that you were stabbed with earlier ??

Stephanie : finders keepers

Jason : well do you know what type of women you're interested in then ?? what do you like

Stephanie : I like my women how I like my woods

Jason : so you mean like mysterious and beautiful

Stephanie : no. I mean like haunted and could kill me at any moment

Tim : do you ever think Cupid was actually summoned to war ?

Dick : huh ???

Tim : i mean like whenever the Roman god's all ended up going to war. do you ever think Cupid was actually called to fight ??

Dick : well he is another god so I don't see why he wouldn't be recruited

R! Donnie: at least i didn't marry a boy i'd only known for two days

12! April: *snorts sprite out her nose in surprise*

12! Raph: LEO DID WHAT?

R! Donnie: in VEGAS

R! Leo: i dont know why you say it like that, you knew that was on my bucketlist

12! Mikey: you put "marry someone you've known for two days" on your bucketlist?

R! Leo: no! It was "get married in Vegas"

12! Mikey: ohhh

12! Splinter: *puts his head in his hands*

12! Raph, poking 12! Leo: really Leo! I didn't think you had that in you!

12! Leo: i don't! I mean that its not on my list, i could totally do it!

12! Raph: sure

12! Casey: oh thats on my list too!

R! Leo: nice

12! Casey and R! Leo: *fist bump*

R! Donnie: you didn't even get married in Vegas proper! They got married in the Yokai sector

R! Leo: because the Yokai age of adulthood is 16. Duh. We're too young to get married in human Vegas

R! Donnie: neither of you legally exist in either domain!

R! Leo: which is why Vegas was the clear choice for venue!

12! April: why'd you marry someone you'd only known two days?

R! Leo: when you spend 47 hours and 52 minutes straight with a stranger, you really get to know each other

12! April: okay? But still why MARRIAGE

R! Leo: uh, because he's pretty and amazing and likes me back?

12! Donnie: *nods in understanding*

R! Mikey, whispering: he's from a different dimension. He had to go back ASAP

2012: ohhhh

R! Raph: They decided to spend his last few hours in our dimension getting married. They're both sappy lovesick fools and that last hour would not come quick enough. The first half hour was cute but after that it-

R! Leo: ANYWAYS thats the story of how i married Usagi last year!

12! Turtles: USAGI?

12! Mikey, shaking 12! Leo: YOU HAVE A THING FOR USAGI?

12! Leo: NO!

12! Raph: I THOUGHT YOU TWO JUST TOLERATED EACH OTHER

12! Casey: what are we talking about?

12! April: i have no idea

12! Leo: WE DO!

12! Donnie: no no this actually kinda makes sense

12! Turtles: WHAT

R! Leo: its because we're soulmates! A fourtune teller verified it-

R! Donnie: she stole your money is what she did

R! Leo: you're just salty i had the wedding without you guys

R! Donnie: I DESERVED THE BEST MAN SPOT!

R! Leo: I ALREADY PROMISED IT TO APRIL!

R! Donnie: WHEN YOU WERE SIX!

R! Leo: AND I KEEP MY PROMISES!

R! Donnie: YOU WAITED FOR BIG MAMA!

RIse Mikey: Ok I am going to do some art topside. see you in an hour.

Rise Raph: ok big man

*RIse Mikey leaves*

12 Leo: do you know where the kitchen is I want to make some toast

Rise Raph: down the hall to your left

12 Leo: Ok

*Later*

12 Donnie: hey Leon do you know were Leo is

Rise Leo: yea he said he was going to make some toast

12 Donnie: WITH THE TOASTER

Rise Leo: Dude calm down that's what a toaster is for

*12 Donnie runs in to the kitchen*

12 Donnie: Leo I swear to hell if you go near that toaster-

12 Leo: Donnie its fin-

*BOOM*

12 Raph Internally: Toaster count: 7

Kirishima: Oh, c’mon dude! We want you here for movie night.

Bakugo, leaving the room: Tch.

Izuku, joking: You know, they say sleep is for the weak, haha.

Bakugo, frozen in his tracks: HAH?

——

Izuku: Kacchan, please.

Bakugo: Shut up, nerd.

Izuku, tearing up: It’s been three days, please go to sleep.

Ochako: Is he okay? What hap-

Bakugo, walks in angry and is completely orange: NO ONE. SAY. A WORD.

Class 1-A: *trying hard not to laugh*

Izuku, walking in and doesn’t know: Hey everyone! What’s so fun-

Bakugo:

Izuku:

Class 1-A:

Big deaf energy

Momo: Gangland-style execution. We never find his head.

Bakugou: *nods in agreement*

Kaminari: And me?

Uraraka and Izuku: *sitting in the dorms lobby with textbooks around them.*

Izuku: *writing away in his notebooks and mumbling non-stop*

Iida, walking in: Hey guys! I’m glad to see that you’re studying away!

Uraraka: Yeah, but um...I’m kinda worried about Deku-kun.

Iida: What do you mean?

Uraraka: He’s been studying and training non-stop and hasn’t slept in four days. I don’t even think he actually knows who we are right now.

Iida: Don’t be silly, Uraraka-kun. That’s not likely.

Uraraka: Watch. Hey, Deku-kun, *gestures to Iida* How do you think Yao-Momo looks today?

Izuku, looks straight at Iida and doesn’t hesitate: She changed her ponystyle a bit today. It looks nice.

Iida: Oh no.

Uraraka: Thanks, Deku-kun.

Audience:

TV Host:

Izuku:

TV Host: W-were you one of those kids, Hero Deku?

Izuku: No, but speaking of divorce, my husband and I are about to have one because he decided to mess with my teleprompter.

*All of the boxes in the truck suddenly blink and disappear*

Izuku, staring blankly:

Izuku, cell phone rings:…Yes?

Bakugo: Oi nerd, I just got word of that truck you rented was effected by some pranking asshat’s disappearing quirk. Don’t put anything in it, got it?

Izuku: Oh thank God. I thought my brain finally snapped.

Bakugo: What?

Izuku: Now, now, let’s not be mean-

Bakugo: Oh shut it, you stupid brat!

Izuku: Kacchan!

Mom: Hey! You can’t talk to my son like that! Who do you think you are?!

Bakugo: I’m the future number one hero, you old hag! And your son smells like dog crap!

Izuku: Oh my God-

Dad: Oi! You can’t talk to my wife like that! What do you think you’re doing?!

Bakugo: Unlike you, I’m trying to run in the park to lose some weight!

Izuku, grabbing Bakugo’s arm: OKAY, we are leav-

Grandma: You can’t talk to my grandson like that! Someone needs to put you in a mental hospital!

Bakugo: Someone needs to put you in a box flowing down the river, old lady!

Whole Family:

Izuku, puts up Bakugo using OFA and runs away: I’M SO SORRY!

B: Why? Cause it’s pointless, or because you look stupid doing it?

A: Did you hear it?