edward cullen x bella swan
tags: smut, long fic, slow build, angst, jealous edward cullen, first time, loss of virginity
Doubt - Chapter 45 (posted!)
Eventually, her strength conceded and she released me from her grasp, falling breathlessly back onto the pillows. I continued to grind my member against her with increased enthusiasm, which she appeared to appreciate more on each pass—until I slipped too far forward and jabbed at her entrance.
Bella’s crescive moans were interrupted by a sharp, agonized yelp and we jolted apart, startled by the near-penetration.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted, half gasping.
Flustered, she shifted uncomfortably beneath me, repositioning our bodies to prevent another snag.
“It was an accident. No harm done,” she said dismissively. But her voice betrayed any attempt to appear nonplussed, and when she looked at me, it was with watchful eyes.
“Everything all right?” I asked, my voice drenched in obvious worry.
Her mouth pursed in disappointment, the way it might if it were harboring bad news, or torn between two difficult decisions. Had I injured her? She released a long breath, which only made her look somehow more dejected.
“How are you going to”—she glanced pointedly in the direction of our hips—“you know…”
My gaze followed hers before returning to her face. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re asking,” I apologized.
She sucked in a deep breath. “How are you going to fit?” Her cheeks went crimson.
For a moment, I thought I’d hallucinated. My mouth fell open with an audible pop and my eyes went so round, they threatened to fall out of my head. If I could blush, my face would give Bella’s a run for its money. Scandalized and half reeling, I rushed to compose myself before articulating a response.
Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I suspected that gravity must have finally caught up with her. Between my immortality and my gift, I was hardly ignorant of the reality of sexual intercourse. Sex was many things, but rarely simple—I’d heard it described in the thoughts of my peers with terms like intense, messy, awkward, and even difficult.
Conversely, Bella didn’t have my advantages. She could only rely on word of mouth and, by her own admission, that source of information often ran dry. In spite of her constant bravery, in spite of her many requests to do exactly this, she was finally as frightened by the mechanics of being intimate with me as I had always been. But I knew this sudden realization would change nothing, even if I could pry the confession from her. So I let it go.
I raked a hand through my hair and arranged my features into the most comforting and serene expression I could manage. Her concern about my size was flattering, but it also made me sad. I didn’t want her to think about this part of the process.
Smiling softly, I tucked a loose thread of hair behind her ear and murmured, “I’ll be very gentle.”
Read the entire chapter here.
