asleep or dead

ahhh i forgot about this tumblr lolol

got high on cipralex tonight bois we just dug a deeper hole

i also have been craving cigarettes so badly i can literally taste the smoke on my tongue and down my throat and ive been shaking for them like every time someone mentions them i just like buckle i want some so badly

im feeling... lonely. i feel like i dont really deserve people who care about me.

i havent eaten all day but my jeans are still tight so im like ok no more eating until they feel looser

me, doing some self destructive bs, shaking and freezing: yeah... this is nice...

what if i just 👉👈 didnt wake up owo sounds fun i like that

feeling low, sigh

why am i hungry i dont want to be hungry im trying to diet lmao and my brain’s just like eat more like stop u know i have 0 impulse control

after like, falling in deep with something very very quickly i go from UNBELIEVABLY HIGH!! to very low bc i feel stupid loving something so intensely so quickly 🥴🥴 my brain like heh whats going on

this time last year i was self harming constantly, i have angry red scratches in pictures i took and deep bags under my eyes and im happy to say i dont do that anymore. i stopped keeping track a while ago and i have had relapses but other than that ive been very good about it and there was only one event i can recall recently where i relapsed pretty badly but ive been doing well and im proud of myself. the feeling is addicting, and i was constantly relying on it as a way to release tension and feel better. but now i have other methods to help me resolve situations/feel better.

i hate crying with no one to comfort me or even to talk to about what happens. ive honestly never felt more alone at the moment

hnng