The Sky Is Open To Those Who Have Wings

If you made $150,000 every day since 33AD, Jeff bezos would still be richer than you.

And the rest, my darlings, are meat.

Never punched reblog so fast in my life

They have nine beverages between the two of them

What they have are five beverages and four waters. Water, by definition, cannot be a beverage.

The fuck do you mean water cant be a beverage?

The way this post progressed is the reason I come on Tumblr

My ability to proofread increases by 1000% after I hit “Submit”.

A handcrafted drink at Starbucks costs more than a gallon of milk.

Who the fuck drinks just a gallon of milk.

*quietly raises hand*

People hate being friend zoned, but friendships tend to last longer than relationships and they don’t end in heartbreak most of the time.

I always got very excited when it would spell out ACDC

OMG SAME FOR BOTH

I always got very afraid when it was the same letter 4 times in a row

when I was 4 or 5, my mom was a prof at a college and she used to hand me the scantron sheet before she wrote the exam and let me colour whatever lettered bubble i wanted for each answer. if i coloured two by accident, she made an ‘all of the above’ option. one time she gave me it and i coloured the ‘a’ bubble for each of the 130 questions except for the second last one and she just went with it later on, she told me that it was the most entertaining exam she had ever watched her students take

sometimes not engaging in conflict is a power move

other times you just gotta slap a bitch

I have questions

To get to the other side