Almost doesn't cut it anymore

honestly fuck viruses they’re not even alive they’re just strands of punk ass DNA that go around fucking up us normal and god fearing life forms you don’t even have a nucleus you stupid bacteriophage looking horizontally transmitting RNA clump

…But why do you need an object to go to the bathroom? Does it unlock the magic bathroom door?

This is eaxctly why hall passes have gotten so extreme.

this is fucking surreal and only adds more weight to my theory that the american public school system is (barely) held together by a dark and arcane magic

on a scale of one to ten how ashamed do you think tumblr is to have the same logo font as toddlers and tiaras 

did u think i was lying

Well one is full of five-year-old divas who compete to see who’s the biggest overmade-up crybaby not acting their age and the other is Toddlers and Tiaras.

“For me??? OMG THANK YOU!”

My heart omg

How millennials killed the divorce industry

do you know how many bones the human body has? its 206. we start with 369 when we’re babies but they fuse. wouldn’t you want to go back? have as many bones as a baby? what if i could help you