i could kiss you for hours

i think if you wanted to eat white chocolate you could just eat candle wax instead and not even notice the difference

lmaoo you're just mad im eating this delicious white chocolate and you're not

my god.. this isnt white chocolate

The only problematic thing with e-books is that after I’ve finished them I can’t put them on my trophy shelf, like a serial killer. 

really disappointed to discover “ratify” absolutely does not mean the extremely cool thing you could think it means just from looking at the word

“Hey, that pigeon is pretty clev-oh wait nevermind”

“ASHASHASHOWATSHAASHHASHOWSHAHSHWOSGAHWHSHAWATTOSHAGWSHA”

me trying to find the bathroom in the bar after 3 - 7 vodka sodas

In Portland yesterday the cops took a performative knee for the cameras during the pre-curfew downtown protest and then immediately started tear gassing the exact same crowd like 10 min later

Then when the post-curfew crowd (which was absolutely massive! 3000+ people, though not all of them stuck around) arrived from the east side, a lot of liberals in the crowd took up ‘peaceful protest’ chants and despite almost everyone adhering to that they still brought out the tear gas again. It’s almost like they don’t actually care how peaceful protesters are being and just want an excuse to commit violence against civilians and suppress dissent 🤔

This is some scalding hot fucking tea and I’m here for it.

i don’t have a brain actually. my head is just filled with lots and lots of dried flowers

actually wait rb this w/ what u have inside your head instead of a brain. the people want to know!

Bees

I realize this is an animal crossing meme but as an astrophysicist I was really excited for a second that someone was finally seeing the light on how fricking difficult and a huge waste of time it would be to try to terraform Mars