Careless Potatoe™

“you’re allowed to relax, you know” unfortunately i cannot do that. Otherwise they will get me

I’m terribly sorry old chap, that smoking jacket you leant me was destroyed in the Paris flood nearly a year ago. No, I am not wearing it in that photograph taken in Zurich over the summer. No, I am not wearing it now! You are seeing things.

"You're smoking too much weed," says the guy who got addicted to manosphere podcasts on his orb and started a fascist militia with a side hobby of deliberate environmental destruction. Started cutting down trees to own the woke elves.

it's a shame you can't Cool, Silent, and Mysterious your way to being very close to people. we are unfortunately going to have to embarrass ourselves for this

fortunately you can cool, loud, and weird your way into closeness

we need to be weirder & so so earnest now more than ever

opening the weather app. saying “oh lord” and closing it again

alerts are like “incoming: hell AND high water”

can i just die in your arms without you making it gay. Come on man

i’m trying to bleed out here. can you not make this weird. Can you do that for me

the way being employed keeps you from video games and other various activities is so sick. genuinely demonic

“oh just do it when you come home” i am dead. “oh just do it on your days off” i am bearing with getting reanimated. after being dead throughout the week.

IT

FUCKEN

WIMDY

Harrison Ford hating playing Han Solo made him better at playing Han Solo because Han Solo did not want to be there doing those things either.

I can’t remember what talk show it was after TFA but the interviewer was like “Did it make you emotional putting on the [Han Solo] costume?” and Harrison Ford was like “No. It made me money.” which was like the most Han Solo thing a person could say.