fish boy, cauliflower boy, snow man

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

cybertrucks are so amazing to me. sure it may be unsafe to drive and unimaginably expensive and ugly as shit but at least everyone who sees you driving it thinks youre a nazi

Cis ppl will be like "transitioning is far less effective than my solution of dismantling gender norms" and then not dismantle gender norms

cis gender abolitionists are almost universally people who just met a trans woman and decided she, specifically, doesn't deserve gender.

“the soft animal of your body”….? thats my hard as fuck werewolf body to you

not many people know this but when talking about your multiple pronoun-using friend you build up a combo meter for every subsequent unique pronoun you use

cant do the mutual first memory rb game because i genuinely cant remember anything. i dont know you were all my mutuals at birth. we were joined by the stars and by blogging

m,y first memory is that I Loved You and do still

“There is no coworker explanation for this” is perhaps my stupidest vocabulary addition as of late. like yep they could be friends could be lovers there’s just no coworker explanation

worst part abt election season is seeing ads that say Candidate Y is a radical communist who wants to abolish christianity and give everyone drugs and then I get all excited and I look up Candidate Y and they're just a center-right liberal who thinks we should maybe rename the Racism Is Okay Memorial Park

And is the "bus in zero minutes" at the stop with us right now?

there's a certain level of hot you can reach where you actually aren't hot anymore because you just look like a generic hot guy and that level of hotness seems to coincide with a lack of personality which inexplicably further coincides with your brain telling you to make funny tiktoks and/or instagram reels despite not actually having the ability to be funny due to being generically hot... many mysteries abound in this world but we have a team of top hater scientists developing the mathematical formula for when to stop working out to avoid this issue

Just letting everyone know I’m reading a book right now. I also drank 7 glasses of water yesterday. Im not saying explicitly that I’m a better person than you, but it is heavily heavily implied. Heaven is going to be awesome!