Haute Shot

i wish dwarves were real just because the folk metal they would produce would be completely unfathomable

“Kill me. Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars that you won.” Is such a metal quote. But it’s from fucking. Warrior Cats.

“The only true borders lie between day and night, between life and death, between hope and loss.” - these cats dealt with heavy shit man

happy birthday thottie

hazmat suit with “JUICY” bedazzled on the ass 

The other day a man signed up for our advantage card and I asked for his “email” and he looked at me and goes “No?? I have a gmail, I don’t even know what an email is.” And I was just so in awe for a moment and I just smiled and enthusiastically replied “It’s okay that works!” Meanwhile internally screaming.

Honestly if anyone wants to know what retail is like on a daily basis? This is it.

dude u look like shit

i hate that me being a dick to a shark is what went viral

Cryptid that shoots you when you find out about it

Glock ness monster

gunfoot

I once had a professor SLAM a thermos down on his desk and say to us “there’s more pressure in my sinuses right now than there is at the bottom of the sea. This thing’s full of NyQuil. I’m going to drink it while I teach, and when your heads are replaced by swirling rainbows, I will cancel the rest of class.” The class ended up being 17 minutes long.

Your professor was trying to fight God