The All Mighty DAVE!!!

“There’s a build up to the chorus … she [Carly Rae Jepsen] just lets out this sort of like Xena-like battle hymn … … those six notes, powerful.. just let them fill you with like.. maybe you’re going through something right now, just let them fill you with power and light … it’s very good.”  

1000% FAITHFUL ADAPTATION

Story time: I’m a vet tech and one time I was [???] this lady for an appointment with her little dog who was covered in bugs

I searched this dog high and low for bugs, couldn’t find a single one

I said ma’am can you please point out these bugs to me

She said oh my gosh can’t you see them they’re right on his belly

She showed me her dog’s nipples and proceeded to try to rip them off

I said ma’am no stop

Those are his nipples

She said

There’s no way, he’s a boy

I said ma’am that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have nipples

Those are definitely his nipples, notice how they’re so symmetrical

She said no way, he’s a boy I said