Wouldn’t You Like To Know?

I swear my cishet husband sometimes wakes up in the morning like “time to be an ally to my bisexual wife by being just a little bit performative” but it’s okay because I love him

The cashier had a pride mask on and my husband whispered to me “I want to tell her I like her mask but I feel like it might be weird.”

My husband will see a piece of pride merch and just put it in front of my face even if it has nothing to do with me and will just be like “this seems like something... you would like”

ma'am, it seems as if your husband is one of them himbos

Say this with me. Manifest it. Make it real. “I am not harmed by fire or explosives.” Say that outloud. Remember it. The only thing that’s stopping you is your own head. Never stop grinding.

my toxic trait is carelessly getting dressed in front of open windows because if someone wants to look in, that’s their problem

i can’t believe i leveled up enough to unlock cake pillow guy’s backstory

I can’t believe the “sweet dreams” joke didn’t occur to me