Grandfreak

A new study finds that Apple has some of the highest employee turnover rates of any tech company. Google "apple turnover" for more information.

The psychiatrist diagnosed me with divine madness

any other diagnoses you'd like to share?

Autism

Skeleton girlfriend who keeps locking your possessions in chests and guarding them with a rusty sword

When she's losing in argument she falls apart on the floor and refuses to talk to you

Me and the bad bitch I pulled by dredging the sea floor for sunken detritus

her genuinely repulsive personality and complete lack of remorse have bewitched me

thanks for making me this hot tea bro. Why did the steam make the shape of a skull and crossbones when you stirred it lol