Belugachirps

#he's so good damn#obvs he doesn't have the same athleticism as the students#but he's so much more in control of his body#he moves much more self assuredly#and doesn't exaggerate the way the more inexperienced ones do#he knows exactly what to do and how to do it naturally#wow

Oh so that's what books mean when they talk about seeing a swordperson or a martial artist move and immediately knowing you're fucked. If I saw someone handle a weapon or switch martial art stances that smoothly and with that economy of motion, I would immediately know I was going to die.

And in his DRESS SHOES.

One of my favorite things in the whole world will always be watching someone do something they’re an expert in.

choosing to forgive myself, choosing to return to love and compassion, choosing to let go of unhealthy coping mechanisms and move to healthier ones, choosing to stay alive. over and over and over again. as many times as it takes.

forgive yourself. forgive yourself for all the versions you couldn't become. forgive yourself for the wrong things you said. forgive yourself for not knowing any better at certain point of your life. for fucking things up so much that the grief still haunts you. forgive yourself for the darker and shadowed parts of you. you have to learn to integrate all parts of you, even the ones you desperately want to disown. it'll be alright.

Due to personal reasons I will be loving myself with my whole heart

changing every “i should have known better” to “i know better now”. i will not judge past versions of me through the lens of who i am now.

girl what's wrong? are you experiencing the sylvia plath fig tree in your head again?