Blergh

hello male writer. before you is a typewriter. you have one day to write a novella with a woman as the protagonist without describing her breasts. the timer begins now

Her ass was like a peach, and brother I’m in her pit.

well. that one’s on me

anyone else get embarrassed when their self indulgent daydreams are like too self-indulgent? like oh jeez the telepaths are going to judge me

#ah so when you’re not Catholic you think it’s telepaths lol

Sentences that explain like 70% of America

I need people reblogging this without context to know that this is literally a quote from the tv show Hannibal.

*gets booed out of the doctor's office*

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

Can haz snackytreat

This post isn’t written in any known human language

Is this what understanding a newspaper political cartoon is like?

Human beings b like. *sits and stares peacefully at a fire* *sits and stares peacefully at the ocean* *sits and stares peacefully at a sleeping animal*

I cannot be cackling like this in the middle of the night.

This is my favorite way of receiving info