half-Man, half-Elf

ok we can do petplay but Only if I’m the fly. If that’s ok… rubs my hands together … zzzzzz…. Hope I don’t get swatted…. Zzzzzzzzz

Timothy Chalamet passed away last night after choking on a single frozen unchewed green pea. Family members confirmed his passing in a statement to the media "it's how he liked to eat them"

You just hate me because the patterns on my clothes move around like they do on chowder and yours don’t

there is a genre of star's trek episode called "kidnapped by pervert"

i would be a kittypet all the way in the warrior cats universe. if i heard a bunch of guys were in the woods killing each other for survival and they think i'm the lame one for getting mediocre banquets i would be like you guys are stupidd and then when the thunderclan medicine cat comes by my fenced lot to pick yarrow i would be like what are doing and shes like medicine so my clanmates don't die and i'm like wow you guys really have it that rough. and she keeps encountering me and one day i'm like why don't you come inside there's plenty of kibble and she averts her eyes shyly and is like ...no that would be against starclan and i'd go To have a little kibble? and she's like You know what i mean. and i do. 5 moons later she is getting adopted by my people and visions of her ancestors still haunt her and she is from time to time like Did I do the right thing...? how could i be so selfish...? and i'm like my toy mouse squeaks

elvis died because it wasnt getting enough fiber

ive never fucked up someones pronouns this badly before, sorry

tip: if you wake up on time and then lie in bed unmoving for 20 minutes you will no longer be on time

work tomorrow is one of the worst things that can happen to you