half-Man, half-Elf

You losers like rick and morty, while I like em thick and portly

If I had immortality I would piss off big dogs and make them attack and kill me so they have to be put down by law and then I'd get up and be fine and do it again. But what if I encountered an immortal dog and we became locked in endless war...? Need to think this through

You could also work for shitty big companies and subtly injure yourself and sue them for millions of dollars and keep doing it over and over again. You'll probably have to wear a fake mustache and glasses so they don't recognize it's you after the sixth time

im going to get peoples pets killed instead ok?

the year was Two Thousand and twenty-four. I took a puff of my Electronic-Cigarette, inhaling the vapours. my mobile terminal buzzed in my pocket, a flat slab of microchips and glossy touchscreen. I ignored it....... probably another Electronic-Mail

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies

Can anyone recommend some entry level behaviours? Thinking of getting into being

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

they are poisoning us today with a thursday poison little do they know we’ve been through a few thursday poisonings so it won’t kill us just yet

as per my last straw,