Moon Enthusiast 🌙

Well that’s not very in love with me of you

I got blood inside my phone charging port and now it only works 50% of the time

get yellow bile in there next to balance the humors of the phone

you. I like the way you think. put on this little outfit I want to make you my royal advisor.

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

This is very funny, but I don’t support your friend working for the cops

911 is all emergency services are you trying to imply that it’s immoral to call for an ambulance or fire service or whatever because the line can also be used to call the cops

Shipping isn't trying to explain why a relationship is actually canon. It's not even trying to explain why it should or could be canon. Shipping is saying "wouldn't it be funny if these two fucked" and everyone needs to remember that.

and sometimes it's "wouldn't it be fucked up if these two fucked"

i am shrunken down and brought to the gnome world and when i attempt to assimilate to their culture I use an acorn cap as a hat and they all laugh cheerfully at my silly mistake of wearing what they use as a bowl like a cap and though this is a transgression that would have humiliated me in my human life I am instead laughing alongside them at my humorous misunderstanding

they ask me what I would like to eat and knowing that gnomes enjoy fruit i ask for my favorite fruit, an apple, and they all laugh raucously and say that i must be very hungry indeed to desire an entire apple rather than just a small chunk, and i go along with their joke and say that while my body may have shrank my stomach has not! and they all guffaw with delight until their faces turn red and see that my request is met and we all sit around a toadstool and share many apple slices together

over my time spent with the gnomes, my antics are still regarded with much delight. though i am past the age in which i am confused by their customs and norms, i occasionally pretend to be clueless about simple and easily understood things, such as shock at how toads are as tall as I am. they all continue to laugh at my feigned surprise, and sometimes join in, asking me if I need any help distinguishing what berries are for eating and which are for painting. i laugh, too. there is a sense of grace that comes with my shortcomings amongst the gnomes. they are entertained by my misunderstandings, yes, because life is to short to not be jolly.

(to the tune of mary had a little lamb): mary had a little lamb

fat guys have slutty and grabbable hips, yall are just cowards