Alicat

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

FUCK. i think i have to learn blender

the humble manual smoothie maker after they break their hands:

every day i log in here and get beat up by genies

the horse when asked what he would like for dinner

put a bullet in me already why dont you

This is kinda ominous ngl

Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.

[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

Happy 10 year anniversary to this absolutely foundational post

#really cannot emphasize enough how much iguanamouth changed the site’s sense of humor and therefore the timeline of the western world

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

cant believe i have to pick another person to outlive already

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

I had an idea last night for a character in a comic/graphic novel who for no reason has obnoxiously huge speech bubbles to the point of everyone else noticing and getting visibly annoyed/worried whenever they’re about to speak. The panel has to expand just to read what they’re saying.

I want to make it clear to everyone that he doesn't even talk all that loud. He's super chill. His speech bubble is just weirdly big.